Daddy's Womb | Teen Ink

Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.



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This article has 2181 comments.


on Sep. 11 2012 at 12:54 pm
kaiterbug BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
I found this really painful to read. I mean I think if you are going to make a poem that rhymes at least come up with some better rhymes. You could use some assonance or some slant rhymes, you didn't have to be so blunt. This really reminded me of a bad childrens book. 

on Sep. 7 2012 at 5:14 pm
SharplyDull SILVER, Glenallen, Missouri
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love mainstream, because hating mainstream is too mainstream."

I really like this.  Really, this is what real poetry is.  I applaud you for making something both readable, understandable, and with a deep philosophical side.  I truly enjoyed reading this, and I hope that you get more published.  

on Sep. 6 2012 at 2:59 pm
SophiaGilbert SILVER, Cambridge, Massachusetts
5 articles 2 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Either the wallpaper goes, or I do"

this poem is really well thought out. it brings up so many images. great job! could you check out my poem "actions of the past" ?

on Sep. 3 2012 at 10:39 am
Raven_Rayne SILVER, Efland, North Carolina
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
if you want something you have never had do something you have never done

The writing itself is amazing, and the fact it has a  meaning behind it makes it even better!! This is wonderful work! Fantastic tallent shown here :)

on Sep. 1 2012 at 4:36 pm
Rayarocks98 SILVER, Mansfield, Pennsylvania
6 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Two things I know. I am a great sinner and Christ is a great savior."~ John Newton "Amazing Grace" The movie

I love this! I know how you feel, I feel the same way. Like I'm bound in invisible chains, and no one can help me. Thanks for writing this, it spoke to me.

on Aug. 31 2012 at 8:39 pm
kate_anne PLATINUM, Cedartown, Georgia
41 articles 7 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.
-Stephen King

Fantastic! Glad it's been published!

on Aug. 25 2012 at 11:47 pm
life-as-we-know-it BRONZE, Tigard, Oregon
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
~ Mark Twain

This is a great poem. I love it!

choogie said...
on Aug. 24 2012 at 10:15 am
choogie, Williamstown, New Jersey
0 articles 5 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
the clouds are God's art work

congrads on getting it published

morgan said...
on Aug. 23 2012 at 10:50 am
it's good, but at the third paragraph, the beat changes, which is kind of confusing.

on Aug. 20 2012 at 8:11 pm
Mimi15 PLATINUM, Belfast, Maine
49 articles 0 photos 73 comments
This was so breathtaking. You're a fantastic writer. If you don't mind, I'd love to hear your opinion of my poem Broken Structure. Cheers. :)

on Aug. 19 2012 at 10:56 am
The_girl_at_her_desk SILVER, Delhi, Kentucky
6 articles 0 photos 13 comments
omg !! so awesum !!!

on Aug. 13 2012 at 5:22 pm
Poetic21 BRONZE, Cahokia, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
god is love.
"they can trigger me but theyll never figure me out " eminem
love is evol spell it backwards ill show ya

wow truely amazing u deserve all these wonderful comments

kizzy16 said...
on Aug. 11 2012 at 6:30 pm
this poem was not ok not good it was awsomeeeeee!!!!!!!!! great writting..... ^_^

kizzy16 said...
on Aug. 11 2012 at 6:30 pm
this poem was not ok not good it was awsomeeeeee!!!!!!!!! great writting..... ^_^

on Aug. 11 2012 at 1:44 pm
LadyFreeWill GOLD, Okemos, Michigan
13 articles 0 photos 14 comments
As everyone else has said -well done. This poem was an enjoyable, easy read while also carrying a deeper (clever, too) meaning. There was one bit  I found that I thought messed with the flow a little; at the end of the first stanza 'if my feet had left the ground'. This line has some verb tense confusion, and I recommend perhaps changing it to 'feet ever left the (etc.)". Again, great poem! Congrats on getting published!

on Aug. 3 2012 at 4:17 pm
HinataHyuga SILVER, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
To never give up is my nindo, my ninja way. I can't run before taking my first step. A place to return to is were someone always thinks of you. Naruto-kun. Miso ramen. Back off kushina tomato Minato is mine! Kingmortha is my BFFFFF on teenink!

OMG!OMG! THIS POEM HUNTED ME... WELL I JUST READ UP TO THE SECOND STANZA BU IT IS SOOOOOO COOOL I LOVED IT! KEEP IT COMING! IM NOT SATISFIED!!

evie313 said...
on Aug. 1 2012 at 9:14 pm
evie313, Fayetteville, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dont swear on the moon, because it is always changing."

This is really great! Could you look at "There He Goes & There He will Be" and comment on it to say what you think. It would be greatly appreciated if the word was spread.

on Jul. 29 2012 at 2:30 am
browneyez16 GOLD, Hephzibah, Georgia
10 articles 1 photo 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You may fail, but fall still fighting, don't give up whatever you do. Eyes front, head high, to the finish...see it through"



~See It Through by Edgar Albert Guest~

I very much agree!

on Jul. 24 2012 at 5:27 pm
WretchedCorpse SILVER, Belvidere, New Jersey
6 articles 9 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You will be the happiest of women. And we shall sing, all by ourselves, til we swoon with delight! You're crying! You're afraid of me! And yet I am not really wicked. Love me and you shall see! All I wanted was to be loved for myself."

Nice work. The poem is great, as well as the story it tells.

lol99 said...
on Jul. 21 2012 at 9:51 am
Wow, just wow. This is one of the most beautiful poetic things I've ever read. You've got talent!