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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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NoMercy666 said...
Oct. 17, 2012 at 9:56 am:
Your poem has a nice idea but the rhyming factor limits it greatly. Avoiding end rhyme could probably help expand the point your poem is trying to make.
 
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AmericanMoth said...
Oct. 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm:
What can I say that hasn't already been said? This is gorgeous!! This is the type of poetry that will be printed in textbooks for the next generation to read. 
 
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SaKarias said...
Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:14 am:
I really liked this poem, it was so sensitive and dramatic. It was so realistic, the second verse was the one that really caught my attention. I really liked the rythm and the rhyme. Maybe you would like to check the grammar, but I hope you keep on writing. Because you just got yourself a new fan! :)
 
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Teemie said...
Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:29 pm:
Very Beautiful
 
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Jennna said...
Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm:
beautiful. 
 
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taylor_baby07 said...
Sept. 29, 2012 at 8:30 pm:
Loved it!!!! one of my favs!  
 
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Andrew121957 said...
Sept. 26, 2012 at 3:21 pm:
Love<3 :D
 
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sweetheart1998 said...
Sept. 23, 2012 at 10:52 am:
i really love this !
 
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JNikole15 said...
Sept. 22, 2012 at 7:59 pm:
This is amazing...I totally understand the feelings
 
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Emily_Greene said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 5:17 pm:
Very nice and from an innocent point of view.
 
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JadaA said...
Sept. 21, 2012 at 1:53 pm:
this poem is awesome... it really made me think!
 
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SHEWHOBELIEVED said...
Sept. 19, 2012 at 12:29 pm:
i really find this to be different and uniqe. please check me out sometime too. At SHEWHOBELIEVED
 
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Miss_Lady said...
Sept. 16, 2012 at 9:41 am:
I found this very imaginative and original. I love poems written this way. It makes me feel like a little girl again on an adventure, ready to do and try anything. I think that as we grow older we grow more cautious when sometimes we just need to take a big leap. This poem was very inspiring.
 
shapeshifter56 replied...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 6:14 pm :
We actually studied your poem in English class! How crazy is that? I was thinking, "I recognize this from somewhere...oh my gosh! It's from teenink!" Anyways, I love this poem. I didn't get it at first, but the more I read it, the more I like it. Great job!
 
ZeesrockThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Sept. 17, 2012 at 9:39 pm :
I agree with Miss_Lady, this poem makes you want to go on adventures!
 
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Dan.Kelly95 said...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 11:02 am:
Ahh this was deep.
 
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feliciaannbro3 said...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 10:40 am:
omg this was amazing! i love it <3
 
Kevin.leal95 replied...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 10:41 am :
lyk OMG it touched my heart
 
feliciaannbro3 replied...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 10:44 am :
i know right !?!?!?!?!?!
 
Kevin.leal95 replied...
Sept. 14, 2012 at 10:51 am :
TOTALLY!!!!!
 
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