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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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InactivistWithTooMuchOpinion said...
May 7, 2013 at 10:03 pm
Hi, this poem is so good! I almost can never write one tha rhymes but also makes sense at the same time. It would be really nice if someone would read/comment on some of my work. Don't mean to self-promote but it's kindof hard to get your work read on this website. Anyway, this was really good A+!
writingriver05 said...
May 7, 2013 at 6:21 pm
It takes courage to write a poem like this thats all i have to say.
shadeslayer2121 said...
May 7, 2013 at 12:57 pm
hey i like it it is really good and i like it uhm if anyone can read my 9 poems and comment i like the feedback and want to get better so i can actually publish a poetry book
Clarabelle said...
May 6, 2013 at 10:07 pm
I have an over-protective father, and though sometimes it can be a real bother, I know he's just taking care of me. You were able to portray that same message and feeling to me - Great job
dreamingofthepast This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 6, 2013 at 5:23 pm
Although I understand this work, I can't seem to grasp the exact meaning. Why the father? Why titled "Daddy's Womb"?
sadie.e said...
May 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm
i thought the poem was amaizing , but im confused about the last verse.BTW the comments are to talk about there poem not to advertise yours.
emily G. said...
Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:56 am
This was so beautiful, you are truly an amazing writer..
sarah98This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:24 pm
I didn't quite understand this but i really liked it. BTW, i would love if anyone would check out some of my poems, i'm pretty new here and feedback would be great!
princesspookie said...
Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:30 pm
I like the poem.But,one  thing what do you mean in the last verse? i got confuse can you please explain that to me.
Gage1121 said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 10:42 pm
hi im kinda new to teenink  and i just recently posted a poem if you guys could come check it out and leave feedback that would be freat
Divagirl508 replied...
May 13, 2013 at 1:10 pm
what's the title of your poem call i would read it
Gage1121 replied...
May 16, 2013 at 11:06 pm
beautiful tears
JustADreamerGirl said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:27 pm
Wow, this is amazing. If you guys could come check out the poem I just posted and would rate it that would be great!
twentysixscribbles This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 21, 2013 at 11:38 am
I absolutely love this. You wrote it in a way that makes is possible for everyone to relate to it. Everyone understands this poem in a different and unique way. And in my mind, that is the best kind of poetry. The kind that everyone can take and carry around inside themselves and understand.
Gage1121 said...
Apr. 19, 2013 at 1:11 am
Hi im preety new on here and would love it if u guys could check out my poem i would love feedback
saracouturier said...
Apr. 15, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Very good poem! I am new on here and I would appreciate it if everyone could look at my poems. Thanks if you do!
Bluetooth said...
Apr. 12, 2013 at 2:29 pm
hey im pretty new, check out my work please  
soul34 said...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:46 pm
this piece is mournful because my father was never like that he left me 3 times thanks for sharing a appreciate good work like this
soul34 said...
Apr. 9, 2013 at 3:44 pm
really good job im impressed thanks for sharing that
AbbaDabbaDoo said...
Apr. 8, 2013 at 4:26 pm
This is an amazing and beautiful piece, with a very relatable feeling. The feel is almost mournful somehow. Keep up the good work!
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