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Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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gabbymigdalski said...
Dec. 5, 2013 at 7:11 pm
This poem caught my attention right away. The way it rhymes and how all the words almost fit into place pulled me right in. I love how in the poem the kid wanted to try everything. He wanted to learn how to fly and swim and he never stop trying until the end. I think this is a great poem and is probably  on my list for top 10 poems I have ever read. 
mady.neal said...
Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:26 am
I think that this was a really good poem!  The transition from see to sky was really elegant and you did well!  the only advice that I would give is to be careful to capitalize what needs to be (your I's).  Great job though!  
Lullabymidnight said...
Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:26 am
The poem was great! I really love the symbolism!  
BrinaJo2018 said...
Dec. 1, 2013 at 8:43 pm
I really liked the poem. I loved how you ended it with the dad being the ultimate reason the son couldn't leave and try to reach his goal. Over-all, a great poem with really good rhymes.  
TheLovel_J said...
Dec. 1, 2013 at 5:09 am
this is a very well constructed poem, i like it a lot. Kepp it up, you're great.
IAndThisMystery said...
Nov. 29, 2013 at 10:59 pm
Wow, this is an intense poem! I find it really interesting that the i's are lowercase but words like "The Sea" are capitalized--maybe a stylistic choice related to the speaker's innocence and the sea's power/vastness? Like everyone else, I'm intrigued but a little confused about the ending -- will someone reply and tell me what you think it's implying?
LostInThoughts said...
Nov. 27, 2013 at 3:40 pm
Really really deep. Little confusing, but an amazing poem. Great Job! :)
JohnMichael This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 27, 2013 at 4:16 am
the poem left me dumbfounded! it is really great!
Alice A. said...
Nov. 20, 2013 at 3:09 pm
This poem was really good!  
horsehugger30252This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 19, 2013 at 5:30 pm
It has a deep meaning to it, I understand that, but am still a bit confused about the ending. Brilliant and creative rhymes though!
Bloodyrose said...
Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:49 pm
Three words: I loved it!
dina8 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 16, 2013 at 2:50 pm
the end really got me, great poem!
BeautifullyChaos said...
Nov. 11, 2013 at 8:25 pm
This poem reminded me a lot of the Greek myth about Icarus. :)
gowiththefl0 said...
Nov. 10, 2013 at 1:30 pm
I like how this poem demonstrates the deep love as well as duty of a father for his son.
Madie2k said...
Nov. 5, 2013 at 6:25 pm
Check your grammar but I loved the poem!
AlexxisRoxxanne said...
Nov. 4, 2013 at 9:39 pm
Haunting - I love the turn around at the end!
doritos44 said...
Nov. 3, 2013 at 5:18 pm
that is so deep and i felt like i was actually there, tht was so vivid
Jessica W. said...
Nov. 1, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Wow, deep. Love
Oct. 31, 2013 at 2:05 pm
I love poetry. I love this poem because it's just about you and it tell's something about yourself. Poetry is a very strong way of expressing yourself freely.
fairygabby99 said...
Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:59 pm
1786 comments! Do you even bother to read these anymore? 
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