Hunter's Point

November 3, 2011
By SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj


Summary:

I was signed up almost immediately. I was stuck out in the Wash Room, to clean out the shower floors and scrub down the toilet stalls. This day in particular though, we were separated so as I cleaned the Wash Room, Tracey cleaned the kitchen, others did laundry and so on and so forth. While down on my hands and knees scrubbing away a stubborn stain in the ground a voice approached me. It scared me, I gulp in my breath, afraid to scream. The voice says to me, “Don’t say anything, and don’t look up.” I wasn’t even planning to but my head and mind were in two separate places. I slam my head back down so the voice continues, “Listen to what I’m about to tell you,” Quickly I nod, “This just may be another Holocaust. I know you Paige,” My heart stops, “I want you to live. At this point you can save no one but yourself.” The lips continued to move, I felt them against my ear, but the words became more and more foreign. My heart was beating too loud and my inner voice continued to ask Who is this? My mind began begging as the lips moved slower and slower, Please Paige think! The lips pulled away,
“Wait!” I call, my head was risen now, but the person stood behind me.
“Why?”
“Repeat what you said, please, slower this time. I’m hard of hearing,”
I could here the smirk in their tone, “If only you knew who you were lying to.” As the footsteps became more and more distant, I release out a sigh. Without my awareness I begin crying loud, long sobs. My last sign of hope, I let slip away. I was never fit for survival of any sort. Me nor my Mom. Not as Paige Macy or Hunter. I was going to die. That was a real reason to cry.


Allie rae J.

Hunter's Point


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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This book has 19 comments.


on Aug. 24 2012 at 8:30 pm
SN3RD I'm am terribly sorry for not replying to you before this (yes, I realize it's been 8 months) but when one doesn't check one's school email for that long (mostly due to it being blocked!) one doesn't realize what one has missed.  I actually haven't worked on Forever Young in a long time and I feel awful for it, but I just haven't had time or motivation.  Perhaps this weekend I'll pick it up again?  Did I give you the link to Wattpad where it's more complete?

on Jul. 14 2012 at 4:39 pm
Alixchica66 SILVER, Vicksburg, Michigan
6 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Oh, so you have enemies? Good, that means you've stood up for something you believe in." -Marshall Mathers

Snerd, this was a very enjoyable read :) I liked it very much...you should definitly keep writing!

SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Jul. 6 2012 at 11:38 pm
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

thank you :)

on Jul. 6 2012 at 11:20 pm
Amazing work, i would love to read more!

on Jul. 5 2012 at 5:36 pm
albinotiger GOLD, Gloucester, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 187 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win"- Stephen King
“In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate”- Isaac Asimov

whoa vey intence and creepy I LOVE IT

SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Jul. 5 2012 at 5:35 pm
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

That means so much to me, thanks :)

on Jul. 4 2012 at 1:06 am
boringbrunette BRONZE, Hahaha, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
either lead me, follow me, or get outta my way!!! (if i could so humbly implore you)

Ur an amazing writer keep writing never slow down you'll go far

on Jul. 1 2012 at 4:57 pm
AugustSunshine SILVER, Morristown, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Normality is just a term that people use to make themselves feel sane. Nobody's sane. Everybody's got issues. Everybody's weird on some way. Don't ignore it. Embrace it.

The summary really grabbed my attention, this is really awesome :) Keep writing!

SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Jan. 6 2012 at 11:38 am
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

Thanks! Where's the rest of Forever Young? ^.^

on Jan. 1 2012 at 2:59 pm
It would be nice to have some tag lines (he said/she said) because sometimes the dialogue gets confusing. But, even though it doesn't seem like it, this book kept me interested! I like it.

SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Dec. 22 2011 at 2:53 pm
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

Thanks a bunch your feedback means a ton to me :D

Acastillo GOLD said...
on Dec. 21 2011 at 11:38 pm
Acastillo GOLD, Phoenix, Arizona
11 articles 0 photos 114 comments

Favorite Quote:
Just because you have flaws, doesn't mean you aren't beautiful ~Zayn Malik

It was very creative and very different than anything I have ever heard. I really enjoyed reading this:)

SN3RD said...
on Nov. 29 2011 at 8:19 pm
Thank you so much! I sincerely appreciate your feedback :)

on Nov. 29 2011 at 1:41 pm
AnimaCordis GOLD, London, Other
13 articles 0 photos 132 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Evil is when the good do nothing"

I like your use of diolog within here, although it was at times difficult to tell who was speaking. 

It was a very good peice, I enjoyed reading it.


SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Nov. 28 2011 at 4:14 pm
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

thank you, you as well :)

on Nov. 26 2011 at 7:49 pm
Jellybeann BRONZE, La Jolla, California
1 article 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never regret something that made you smile :)
Yesterday was histroy, tommorow is a mystery and today is a gift, that's why its called present.
I love you <3
Your face makes you pretty, your body makes you sexy, but your personality makes you beautiful

read the summary. Seems like an intense story, i love it! good job and keep the work up, you are great at this! :)

SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Nov. 6 2011 at 4:06 pm
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

Thank You :) I'll post the other chapters soon and i'll be waiting for your's to Red Soul as well :)

 


kurozora said...
on Nov. 6 2011 at 2:36 pm
kurozora, Lagrangeville, New York
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Writing is crucial. I can't explain why, but my whole world balances on words. I hope that if everyone were to read my writing, then somehow the gears of someone's world might shift ever so slightly, for the better.

Great use of dialogue. I really connected with Paige. Usually I get irritated with overly sarcastic characters, but for some reason she really does well in a sarcastic tone. Also, excellent job creating the setting. It's hard to make a fictional setting believable, so I give you extra props for that! Wonderful. The only thing is a few grammer mistakes here and there, but it's minimal. I hope you're writing more, I really want the story to develop! :)

SN3RD BRONZE said...
on Nov. 6 2011 at 10:41 am
SN3RD BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
3 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm the bugs bunny, and if you ain't got my carrots, you ain't got nothin' for me!" --Nicki Minaj

I'd love for those who read my books to leave feedback. I can only get better with it.




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