Breakup Letter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

December 6, 2008
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Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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Nov. 7, 2017 at 10:02 am
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Artistic_Geek_Roo_10This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 15, 2017 at 10:13 pm
This is funny and so relatable,I love it!
eshaansoman said...
Apr. 1, 2017 at 6:32 pm
relatable lol
Yukine said...
Apr. 26, 2016 at 8:46 am
I like how you integrated an essay style in to something this hilarious and unorthodox. It was a unique, and well done letter XD
rohanb05 said...
Apr. 26, 2016 at 8:44 am
This is so funny! The ending is so true! Chrome is the new good browser and Internet Explorer just doesn't cooperate anymore, especially with me haha.
Benjy said...
Feb. 12, 2016 at 8:27 pm
This is REALLY hilarious! I loved how you used figurative language to make Windows Internet Explorer sound like a human. I can totally relate to this, too! I only use IE when Google Chrome or Firefox start to stutter on my PC. I still love IE 11, and I use it whenever I like!
emmakate45 said...
Nov. 24, 2015 at 5:52 pm
This is really funny, I love it!
hephillips said...
Nov. 11, 2015 at 10:07 pm
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of work. I love the way you used personification to give Windows Explorer human characteristics!
larrycain said...
Nov. 5, 2015 at 9:08 am
This is a great story. My favorite part was when they said that Napoleon started “busting some moves with his moon boots”.
rebelheart99 said...
Apr. 5, 2015 at 4:24 pm
This is hilarious! :D made my day..
WriterOfTheFuture said...
Feb. 21, 2015 at 10:05 pm
hi ur piece is realy great will u read mine?
VartikaSinghSikarwar said...
Feb. 18, 2015 at 2:45 am
Lovely letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
RodrigoC said...
Jan. 12, 2015 at 11:02 am
The only reason for using internet explorer is to download other browsers, obviously. Hilarious!
Thefanatasticagirlie101 said...
Jan. 7, 2015 at 6:01 pm
This has officially made my day. It's so hilarious!!!!
LillyZ83 said...
Sept. 20, 2014 at 2:15 pm
This made me smile and laugh! Made my day! :)
SilverSun said...
Apr. 23, 2012 at 9:29 pm
Oh so funny!!! This was like the story of my life before I went all out Mac. This was such a hilarious story, well written and full of humor!! Congrats on being published in magazine- you kind of absolutely deserved it!
KatsK This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 22, 2012 at 10:03 am
This is awesome! I too have had my share of internet explorer troubles, and am now on Google chrome.
SMILEY738 said...
Mar. 9, 2012 at 11:32 am
This was weird but funny!!! LOL!!! :)
Calligraphic said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 4:17 pm
I found this absolutely amusing, great job!
ShayleeMar said...
Jan. 3, 2012 at 9:57 pm
THAT IS SO HILARIOUS! I love it! So awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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