Breakup Letter MAG

December 6, 2008
By Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown


Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
Kirstykaakes3
A.K.A.
fuoc0tanz3r
A.K.A.
jinx-raven94
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”



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This article has 232 comments.


on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:05 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Haha, I'm glad the two of you enjoyed reading it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:04 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Thank you so much!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:03 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

I'm glad you liked it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:03 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Zazawish777, I am so glad you enjoyed reading it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 11:02 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Ha, that's not really what I meant. I wrote this two years ago in my 11th class, and it's exacly what it says it is - a break up letter to Internet Explorer, a browser that I have not used since I wrote this. Still, I'd glad you liked it!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 10:59 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

I'm glad you liked it! I wish you the best of luck with explorer, it's easy to upgrade if you want to - and there is a wealth of options!

on Apr. 15 2011 at 10:58 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

I've had my mac for almost a year now, and I love it to pieces. Do you use safari? I thought it was a nightmare, so I'm on firefox now.

I'm glad you enjoyed this peice!


on Apr. 15 2011 at 10:57 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Really? I've yet to try it. I'm on firefox now, and I consider it brilliant.

on Apr. 15 2011 at 10:57 am
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"

-Unknown

Hey hex you are a lovely being yes this is silly

on Apr. 14 2011 at 8:23 pm
ZalphaNeko GOLD, Plantation, Florida
17 articles 5 photos 16 comments
I use google chrome. It works wonders... *sigh* im obsessed with it. 0.0 :)

Hejlna said...
on Apr. 14 2011 at 3:46 pm
Wow! I just got an Apple. I was stuck with Internet Explorer for so long. About time for a break up letter. I loved it!

on Apr. 14 2011 at 12:19 pm
MadiBird PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
21 articles 1 photo 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hate isn't the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite of love. Because if you hate, you still care."

This was so funny! I loved it, even though I am currently using Internet "Exploder" XD

Powwwah said...
on Apr. 14 2011 at 9:10 am
I think that I know what you are saying. Technology is getting better and better and all our old stuff just is not cool and up to date anymore. Out with the old, In with the new. However there are a few people who treat people how you treated your computer..... They just leave you, forever in the dark, maybe even never seen again....

on Apr. 14 2011 at 8:27 am
Zazawish777 GOLD, KC, MO, Missouri
16 articles 2 photos 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over!

omg! this is great. omg lol - please look at mine and rate and comment. 5 stars

on Mar. 23 2011 at 6:21 pm
aspiringauthor_ BRONZE, Fairfield, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 326 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." - MLK Jr.

This was hysterical. Did you really do this and are now using Safari or Mozilla Firefox? Or were you just really mad at your Internet Explorer? :)

on Mar. 23 2011 at 3:38 pm
PerfectMGymnast DIAMOND, Parker, Colorado
57 articles 25 photos 633 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't leap you'lll never know what it's like to fly"

This was really funny!! great job!! :)

on Mar. 1 2011 at 7:47 pm
itlovedtohappen GOLD, Ocala, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 32 comments
Haha that made me laugh out loud...only a true writer can  make you do that.

on Mar. 1 2011 at 6:53 pm
Basketball23 SILVER, Pine Grove, Pennsylvania
8 articles 13 photos 488 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm living in a shell with no soul" -Three Days Grace (World So Cold)
"Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned" -Avenged Sevenfold (So Far Away)

My thoughts EXACTLY!!!

on Mar. 1 2011 at 5:48 pm
CassidyMarturana BRONZE, Califon, New Jersey
1 article 4 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't about just waiting out the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Hahaha :) I love this! I hope my computer takes a hint from this...

on Mar. 1 2011 at 3:58 pm
The_mango BRONZE, Decatur, Mississippi
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Reject anyone or anything that has ever made you feel like you did not belong; or you didn't fit in, or you were not good enough, or great enough; or you were not thin enough, or pretty enough; or you couldn't dance well enough or play well enough"

I broke up with IE months ago. Now I'm in a relationship with Opera!


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