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Breakup Letter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

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Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
Kirstykaakes3
A.K.A.
fuoc0tanz3r
A.K.A.
jinx-raven94
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 218 comments. Post your own!

Behind_Blue_EyesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 5:42 pm:
i love this!! i see exactly where ur coming from!
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:09 am :
Thanks! I'm so glad you liked it!
 
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dolphin13 said...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 5:30 pm:

 

I loved this! It was very interesting and realistic. Keep writing!

 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:12 am :

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed my work!

As for writing, I'm no longer on Teen Ink - but just google "fuocotanzer" - I own all rights to the name, all accounts under it are me. Feel free to drop me a message!

 
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cloudskater1 said...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 3:21 pm:
LOL this was hilar. super amazing job too!!! keep it up! XD
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:12 am :
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
 
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thebushhippie said...
Nov. 11, 2010 at 8:30 am:
This is so cool! It's perfect!!!!!! LOVE IT! <3
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:13 am :
Haha, I wouldn't say it's perfect, but I'm glad you liked it!
 
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TheMusicalFaery said...
Oct. 28, 2010 at 12:09 pm:
That was AWESOME!!! Such a great, original idea! I love it! Keep up the good work! :)
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:14 am :

Thank you! I'm so flattered!

 

 
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DareYouToMove said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 8:05 pm:
HAHAHAHA, that was great. :D Super original too! Great job!
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:14 am :
Thank you! Even though I'm replying super late, I just wanted you to know that I'm glad you liked it!
 
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passion.fable14 said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 6:27 pm:
Haha that was SO SMART!!! WHAT AN AWESOME IDEA.
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:15 am :
Thank you! I'm incredibly flattered!
 
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WhiteShadows said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 2:41 pm:
Clever! Loved it
 
elisabethphoenix replied...
Nov. 11, 2010 at 7:47 pm :
ahh i love your reference to one of the BEST coldplay songs ever, in my opinion!! haha sorry for posting this seemingly random/pointless comment!!
 
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GuitarGirl92851 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 10:51 am:
Goodbye Windows Internet Explorer, hello Safari!
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:17 am :
Whatever works for you! Safari did crazy things, so I left it for firefox. We are now in an intimate, loving relationship and things are going very well for us.
 
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xAllegria said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 7:03 am:
Very original. Teen Ink needs more light, funny stuff like this :)
 
sunshine14 replied...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 8:20 pm :
agreeeeeed.
 
Fuocotanzer This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:18 am :

I'm so glad you guys loved it!

And if you want more light, fluffy things, why not write them yourself?

 
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