Loving you is like wanting death Ep. 1 | Teen Ink

Loving you is like wanting death Ep. 1

August 27, 2009
By iPonder GOLD, Elk Grove, California
iPonder GOLD, Elk Grove, California
14 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
The bad things happen first,then the good things, then more bad things, then more good things: God helps us through the bad things so we can enjoy the good ones. :)


She tried to strike him with her bare fleshed hand. He grabbed it in mid air. "Would you like to try again?" he asked with a dark smirk across his face. Yes! She screamed within herself. She hated him and everything he did to her. She loved him but hated everything about him. He killed her hope of her father coming back to her. She looked away from the hard-chisseled face that captured her in such a trance many times before. "He will come back. He loves me, which is more than what I can say about you!" I shifted away from him. He crossed his arms and began to sigh. He leaned on the fireplace as i sat down on the piano in the middle of the living room. I shuffled through the sheet music and found a symphony from Beethoven's 3rd. I began to play. my fingers gently touching the ancient piece. I could feel his eyes burning a hole through my head. He who stole me away in the middle of the night just to tell me that my father's return was hopeless and just a fairytale. Yes, I hated him. I suddenly didnt feel the urge to play anymore and finished the symphony with my own made up tune. I gently closed the piano and walked to the door to exit this treacherous place he was trying to keep me captive in. He glided in front of the door and leaned on the handle. His face was now serious and stricken with frustration. "For the last time your not going anywhere. So sit now." he brushed his hand through his black hair and lowered his eyes at me. "Move." I said in a husk voice. It was five in the morning i had no time for this. He smiled well more of a sinical smile then a happy-go-lucky one. Jackass. "Make me." He crossed his arms back in place and began to hum the same tune i played a minmute ago. "You arrogant-" I stopped myself. "Fine Ill move you." I spoke in a low whisper. His eyes fluttered as I moved closer to him. His breath and mine lingered together as we breathed in eachothers scent. I skimmed my lips across his. He backed up. Yeah wasnt expecting that one now were you. I kept repeating that in my head. I had the control not him. He lowered his arms and then grabbed me by the waist pulling me closer to him. His rock solid chest against mine. He bit my lower lip and then devoured my lips with a need that he must have been holding back for all this time. It was our first but not our last kiss.


The author's comments:
I enjoy listening to deep and loud hard rock and love techno and alternative. Speaking as one of MANY girls who wear their hearts on their sleeves, I try to channel my feelings for a person in words, which turns into poems.

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This article has 166 comments.


on Dec. 24 2011 at 1:31 am
PenPaperAddiction, Las Vegas, Nevada
0 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We're all a little weird and when you meet someone who's weirdness is compatible with yours, you fall into a mutually satisfying weirdness and call them your best friend." -boymeetsworld

Kind of reminds me of "Beauty and the Beast"... With an edgier, sexier twist.

on Dec. 7 2011 at 11:10 pm
TheTardis SILVER, Fort Wayne, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment
AMAZING. Practically perfect in every way. Keep it up! :D

on Dec. 2 2011 at 8:02 pm
snowyangel775 BRONZE, Chelsea, Massachusetts
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never say never-Justin Beiber
It's my art so shut up!-Bruno Mars

I love it! Keep writing

on Dec. 2 2011 at 10:07 am
MarissaWhitecloud SILVER, Oskaloosa, Iowa
7 articles 0 photos 84 comments
I was a bit confused at first but I still like it.

NerdFighter said...
on Nov. 15 2011 at 1:41 am
NerdFighter, Comox, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?

I love your writing but I'm confused about the chapters cause yje next chapters are like a totally different book...write more!!

on Nov. 10 2011 at 9:50 pm
Lalalovable SILVER, Antioch, California
7 articles 1 photo 50 comments
wow this is really great and edgy! I feel like I've read this before on teenink somewhere. Keep on writing:)

on Nov. 10 2011 at 1:29 pm
clumsyteardropper SILVER, Roslyn, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can't help others, if you yourself need help" -my sister ;) love it!

ahhhhh cliffhanger!!!!!!  i'm so loving it!!!! :D  write more!  WHAT HAPPENS???  or is there already more??  ILL GO SEE!!!!! *eagerly marches up to the search box*

on Nov. 10 2011 at 9:25 am
Dreamgirl95 BRONZE, Sugarland, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.

I love this so much, I've read it like five times and it's still amazing. Great work:)

on Oct. 26 2011 at 8:34 pm
dancing.inthe.rain GOLD, Bowling Green, Kentucky
15 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We all fear death and question our place in the universe. The artist's job is not to subcome to dispair, but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existance." -Gertrude Stein in the movie Midnight In Paris.

it is really good, but you switched between she and i in the beggining of ther story, which made it a bit confussing at first.

on Oct. 19 2011 at 11:16 pm
garthgirl8888 BRONZE, Long Beach, California
2 articles 0 photos 20 comments
The romance is crazy good, but you switch your pronouns between she and I and had some grammar issues. Also, another post said that you plagiarized from Jodi picoult...

on Oct. 19 2011 at 6:51 pm
Imperfectlife SILVER, Rochester, New York
7 articles 0 photos 74 comments
I thought it was good! Isn't the mystery about the father needed? And the emotions altering, isn't that human nature? All humans tends to change thair emtoions in many different ways. So I do really think this story is really good!

on Oct. 19 2011 at 6:47 pm
Imperfectlife SILVER, Rochester, New York
7 articles 0 photos 74 comments
I love to know more and read more romantic moments. Awww the kissing part was really sweet.

WriteItOff said...
on Oct. 19 2011 at 3:37 pm
WriteItOff, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
0 articles 0 photos 15 comments
Woah, very very good, please continue to write!!

on Oct. 19 2011 at 1:23 pm
rachelwilson SILVER, Paris, Tennessee
5 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went thirty minutes without seeing something of remebrance to you.. but then again,.. my eyes were closed.." -Rachel Wilson

This is really good!

 


michfish22 said...
on Oct. 19 2011 at 12:58 pm
michfish22, Mason, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"'It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees.'
'You have it backwards my friend, it's better to live on your feet than die on your knees.'"

~Survivor Guilt by Rise Against

is there a Loving you is like wanting death ep. 2?? cuz i cant find it and i want to read more, i love this!

on Oct. 19 2011 at 10:44 am
jaymishae SILVER, Jonesboro, Arkansas
6 articles 1 photo 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

i can totallyrelate with this. not that ive ever been heldagainst my will or anything but the emituon behnd ths makes me feel like ivebeen terre. its awesome when that happens and you have to hav talent to write well enough to make that happen.

melbell BRONZE said...
on Oct. 19 2011 at 10:34 am
melbell BRONZE, Sheridan, Indiana
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"if you fall rise agin"

i think this was a good one it showed that you have a love for writing. keep up the good work

ashluv22 said...
on Oct. 19 2011 at 6:05 am
wow this is amazing i mean i was seriously amazed when i read the frist line.

neshkuh GOLD said...
on Oct. 19 2011 at 2:26 am
neshkuh GOLD, Lower Mainland, Other
18 articles 0 photos 3 comments

I see a lot of potential in what you've written; as far as what contemporary teen romance fiction looks like these days you've got the style/trend down really well. However this piece really needs editing. You change tenses unneccessarily and there is a very low level of professional presentation -- you have screaming typos and a lack of crucial and basic punctuation at times.

The storyline also seems to move incongruously. I'm not sure if that was your intent or not. But your fmc goes from angry to playing the piano to angry to making out with the guy without a discernable, fully developed transition that the reader can follow.  If you smoothed out these rough edges this piece as a whole would be a lot more convincing and enticing. 

Best of luck to you.


on Sep. 5 2011 at 4:51 pm
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

I LOVE THIS!!! Dark romance..perfectly said, zadiekatie23!! :) do go on!! <3333


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