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bittersweet
  the bittersweet memories flood my mind
  the way you looked at me
  the way you smiled
  i do everything i can to push away the pain
  take another shot
  cut a little deeper
  in a trance, i drift to simpler days when nothing mattered
  mud on my shoes
  PB&J for lunch
  but i can’t forget an entire chapter of my life
  our first date 
  the last time we kissed
  my body aches from the pain its enduring
  headaches that drain me
  bruises ever growing
  starving the feelings to make everything better
  hunger is just applause
  food is the enemy 
  but i know my anesthetics will only hurt me in the end
  scars i can never remove
  bones that protrude
  i look towards the lighter, brighter days
  a laugh with a friend
  pancakes for dinner
it’s all i have to keep me going.

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