Pieces of November | TeenInk

Pieces of November

December 22, 2011
By greenyman GOLD, Warnerville, New York
greenyman GOLD, Warnerville, New York
18 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'll tell you a riddle. You're waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you don't know for sure. But it doesn't matter." Inception.

Pink rosy cheeks illuminate throughout
Her brown cute freckles dance across her face,
But often beauty has a lot of doubt,
I wonder if with her this is the case?
I see green eyes, they say we need to talk.
Her hands move slowly towards her lovely mask.
Into the brisk November night we walk,
With every hopeful word, we tend to bask.
We see the stars light up the shattered street.
She brushes silky hair away to view
Her lips say words I never will repeat.
I merely utter one more, “I love you.”
I dry her tears, for she is half my soul,
Yes, love can take a very heavy toll.

The author's comments:
This is about a girl. True story.

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This article has 11 comments.

Angela said...
on Mar. 21 2012 at 10:20 pm
too lazy to log in, but this was really good :) keep writing

on Mar. 21 2012 at 10:20 pm
holyblondecheerleaderbatman BRONZE, Wasilla, Alaska
1 article 2 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
Who said I want to fit in ?

this is amazing 

Shivam GOLD said...
on Mar. 20 2012 at 8:24 am
Shivam GOLD, Lucknow, Other
19 articles 0 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
Its nothing like nothing or all.. its just that how far you climb up the tree before you fall..

Very Good.....

on Mar. 19 2012 at 10:28 pm
AlexOdyssey GOLD, Denver, Colorado
17 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'd rather attempt for something grand then attempt nothing and succeed."-Fortune Cookie.

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it because no one else will" -Ghandi

I enjoy the end of the poem. The whole poem is well flowed and constructed. I enjoy the detail. Nice work.

on Mar. 19 2012 at 10:28 pm
AugustSummerFling PLATINUM, Mylapore, Chennai, Other
36 articles 0 photos 265 comments

Favorite Quote:
'For you, a thousand times over.' - Hassan, The Kite Runner

A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.

nice :)

the last stanza is sweet :)

please check out my poem - R.M.S.Titanic

Jessica said...
on Mar. 19 2012 at 10:15 pm
wow. That was so deep. i really liked how you talked about this girl with so much love, even though she didnt return the love to you. I am sorry:/ i hope she starts likeing you soon. 

on Mar. 19 2012 at 12:39 pm
OwlEyes6 BRONZE, Gilbert, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you want your children to be intelligent read them fairytales, if you want them to be more intelligent read them more fairytales."
-Albert Einstein

I also liked your word choice. Good job!

on Mar. 13 2012 at 8:21 pm
Moon_In_A_Cup BRONZE, West End, North Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 7 comments
I like it a lot! i like the words

Khiana said...
on Mar. 9 2012 at 9:28 pm
love it. pple need to read this.

NickyJ BRONZE said...
on Mar. 9 2012 at 4:59 pm
NickyJ BRONZE, Hyde Park, New York
1 article 0 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost

I'm not as fond of the beginning so much as the ending. Gotta say I'm really fond of the last line. How true it is.

I think why i might like this poem os much is because it draws inspiration from the idea of of a solitary "girl", at least on the literal level. It's where I draw my inspiration from as well.

That girl said...
on Mar. 8 2012 at 4:55 pm
Oh my gosh, this is so good. More people need to read this!