at night i wonder
what would life be like
with the first girl i loved
would i feel the burst of the fireworks
or the pain of the shrapnel
of the hand grenade
poisoned by the venom
that was spoken between us
but jesus
i'm falling to pieces
and the moment i needed this
i didn't have the feeling its
so unexplainable
waiting for the incredible
feeling i've been dying for
waiting every night before
i pass out to hear your voice
i know it was never coming
having a different night
thats what i was hoping
but when i woke up
i knew there was another fight
to keep a half full cup
about living without you
but i guess i have to make do


now that i'm sleeping alone
i just want to grab for the phone
so i can hear somebody's voice
but i guess i have no choice
you're just too far from me
but your memory won't let me be
and its telling me you want to see
me again how long has it been
i can see and hear things
that just ain't there
having these feelings
damn it just ain't fair
with you at an absence
i'm missing vital life essence
and the message
that i'm trying to send to you
trying to restart at this new age
but you just have no clue
listen to your heart
because i'm pouring my soul out into the arts
hoping you hear me
no more need to fear me
god damn i'm finally thinking clearly
but i don't know how i'll finally
get to hold you close and let the rest of the world be free