What if I stayed? | Teen Ink

What if I stayed?

December 2, 2010
By baumshell DIAMOND, Burbank, California
baumshell DIAMOND, Burbank, California
68 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I was thinking how nothing lasts and what a shame that is."-Benjamin Button

What if I stayed?
I said to you
What if I came back?
and you weren’t with someone new?
What if I had chosen a life of love?
And not a life filled with ambition?
But it was too late to compromise
And too soon to make you mine
So separation is key
in just a summer fling
But I thought I had something
Something people only see on the silver screen
One summer, a few moments, and six weeks made of pure bliss
steady at my fingertips
But all the while saying to myself
It doesn’t matter
cause once this summer is gone
so is that love, so am I
fleeting like summer
from your arms, your lips, your touch, your heart
out of sight

I could be satisfied as a bittersweet memory of first love,
your first everything
And not care that I won’t be your beloved wife

I could say I believe in Destiny and Fate
that what plays out plays out and it’s part of the big cosmic game
But if I stayed, maybe we would have stayed together
for the rest of our lives
My life on hold
so I can have a happy ending with you

Brought back ceaselessly into the past
a direction with a tragic end
calling for disaster
and maybe I only go because I want to move on
and I can’t watch you love, I can’t look at you
knowing I made every decision that led to this end
that led me to be without you

I hope you hold every memory
I wish you could think of me as your meant to be
I hope you cherish our love as something that could have exceeded most
And I hope you reminisce, dream of me, and know that what we had
only lasted a month in reality, but was a lifetime fantasy

Too late to compromise
Too soon to make you mine
I betrayed and ruined it
But truth is, it was doomed the day I left
And I still cry at night sometimes
because I thought of you as right
Yes, I still cry at night sometimes
because I thought of you as right

But maybe it’s better this way, to drift away
from each other’s lives
never knowing if we were wrong or right to utter soul mate at the time
But it’s probably better this way, to drift away
and only have a perfect summer, such sweet love, to keep in mind

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