I should have figured out life by now.

By 10,000 hours you’d think I’d know how

To overcome any strife, any hardship I’d overpower

After my 140,644th hour.

I should be able to handle my emotions.

Instead I am stricken with painful devotion

To the way that I acted as a child.

I should reign in emotions that are running wild.

I should be able to sleep at night,

Instead I create nightmares for my daydreams to fight.

I shouldn't wake up before the sun appears

Just to stare at the ceiling and search for the roots of my fears.

I shouldn't be sad for no reason.

My motivation should not cycle through with the seasons.

I shouldn't be afraid of my therapy sessions,

I should be able to accept that I have depression.

I'm doing my best to live like I should,

To finish the things that I promised I would.

I’m fighting everyday to feel like I belong

And to convince myself that I must keep moving along.

But there is no right way to live.

Some days you take and some days you give.

The important part is that I am still here.

After feeling lonely and broken, I didn't disappear.