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Fight Club
October 2, 2009
Close your eyes and cover your ears
Shut your door tightly so no one else hears
The stream of profanity that fills the halls
Covered only slightly by the paper thin walls
Come out when the pain disappears
Walk away from the abhorrence of home
But then what is left to do, but roam
Aimlessly, endlessly
Incomprehensively
You find yourself cold and alone
Pick up the pieces of your broken spirit
Lock it away and never go near it
Until that glorious day
When you can finally say
That you have no more reason fear it.
© Becky F., Sacramento, CA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 9 comments.
OkuniTachibana GOLD said...
on Apr. 19 2011 at 3:35 pm
you are truely a great poet i think you could teach me a thing or two about poems truely impressive works
luv_4_broadway GOLD said...
on Mar. 28 2011 at 1:43 pm
everyone has those inner demons :( I really like the last stanza in particular!!
BillyJoeBobKellyGeorge PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 7 2009 at 6:07 pm
I really enjoyed reading this limerick. The message has a nice flow to it.
colcojo said...
on Oct. 22 2009 at 8:01 pm
This poem is supremely deep, and filled with meaning. It ventures to talk about and even describe a very serious subject that is often taboo: abuse. Even the title, "Fight Club" provides a disturbing, sickening, but very true metaphor to the horror of it. When you said, "Walk away from the abhorrences of home
But then what is left to do, but roam
Aimlessly, endlessly
Incomprehensively
You find yourself cold and alone" I thought you really hit home in the way you described the feelings of the victims of abuse. It was especially effective when you used the three -ly adjectives (aimlessly, endlessly, incomprehensively) to describe the wanderings because they all host a feeling of depression- an accurate word to describe what such a person would seem to be surrounded by if they were in such a horrid situation. However, you did not leave us without hope, as you wrote, "Pick up the pieces of your broken spirit
Lock it away and never go near it
Until that glorious day
When you can finally say
That you have no more reason to fear it." I think that adding that last stanza turned what would have been a good poem to an amazing one, because it showed that abuse can be conquered, and that people can get over it. The way you explained hiding from your inner feelings as locking up the pieces of your broken spirit provided a much needed mental image to help me understand exactly what you were saying. All things considered, I thought you did a fantastic job on providing a detailed description of the terrors of violence. I hope to read more.
But then what is left to do, but roam
Aimlessly, endlessly
Incomprehensively
You find yourself cold and alone" I thought you really hit home in the way you described the feelings of the victims of abuse. It was especially effective when you used the three -ly adjectives (aimlessly, endlessly, incomprehensively) to describe the wanderings because they all host a feeling of depression- an accurate word to describe what such a person would seem to be surrounded by if they were in such a horrid situation. However, you did not leave us without hope, as you wrote, "Pick up the pieces of your broken spirit
Lock it away and never go near it
Until that glorious day
When you can finally say
That you have no more reason to fear it." I think that adding that last stanza turned what would have been a good poem to an amazing one, because it showed that abuse can be conquered, and that people can get over it. The way you explained hiding from your inner feelings as locking up the pieces of your broken spirit provided a much needed mental image to help me understand exactly what you were saying. All things considered, I thought you did a fantastic job on providing a detailed description of the terrors of violence. I hope to read more.
