And when your first love leaves you will want to kill yourself
because they're the only future you ever imagined
They will make you want to kill yourself
They will take everything you had left to give
Your crooked smile
Your shiny eyes
and the way they spark up when you talk about something you love
Your first love will make you feel empty again
Lonely again
Desperate again
They'll make you crave men again,
the feeling of human interaction
The mouths of future lovers will taste like sour lemons
But you're desperate
Desperate to fill your empty void
Desperate to find the missing piece
Desperation will turn to vulnerability
Men will come and go
Like shiny new toys
You will come and go
Eroding like the hills he first kissed you on
Your first love
Your worst love
The one that brings all the pain
The one you can't seem to let go
The one whos moved on...
But you can't just move on
It's not simple
This man,
this boy toy,
this thing
raped you of everything
He plucked and pulled at you
Tasted and spat you out
This man,
this boy,
tore you and made you this way
You are a shattered masterpiece
Beautifully scarred and cracked
His stench and fingerprints still line your body
No amount of bathing will get him out
So you will drown him out, you will hold his head deep in the water
and won't ever let go
Cause you are reclaiming yourself
Your first love,
the one that taught you how to love,
will always be you