Speak to me, Muse, of the one who had procrastinated far too long,
pushing aside all of his assignments — yes, even this invocation — to the very last minute.
He truly had wanted to use that four day weekend to defend
those poor, puppy-eyed grades from succumbing to sloppy work…
But he could hear it! The sirenic voice of YouTube calling to him,
trying to allure him to his doom.
Temptation gave way, as he fell into the deepest pits of Tartarus,
which even Hades refused to enter.
Fright-inducing trials of cat videos and memes stood before him — oh, the horror!
Alas, once he had finally escaped the snare of information
the quick-thinking Wikipedia had carefully lured him into,
an ear-piercing ringtone began to ring from his phone.
Calls from mother, comments on a new Insta post, new Snaps on his friends’ stories!
Only that gray-eyed, cold-blooded Athena, goddess of wisdom,
had the skill to conduct such a horrible cacophony of notifications.
Dropping to his knees, he had begged the gods to stop this torture.
What had he done to deserve such a punishment?
Was he truly deemed worse than the power-hungry Tantalus, or the blood-thirsty Atlas?
But suddenly, the bright light of his phone dimmed to a total darkness,
as the whisperings of Pinterest and Facebook were reduced to a complete silence.
He had succeeded.
And he still had two hours before his homework was due.