To the one I never had,
But the one I always wanted —
The one who never wanted me back.
It’s hard to imagine that everything I felt
Was only felt by me.
But it couldn’t have been.
Could it?
It’s hard to imagine
That the butterflies I got in my stomach
When we accidentally touched hands
Was just in my head.
It’s hard to imagine
That you didn’t smile to yourself
Whenever I smiled
The same way I did for you.
But then again...
You were always preoccupied with something else —
With someone else.
The girl you always wanted.
The girl who — usually — wanted you back.
And in those times when she didn’t,
You came to me.
Telling me you had made a mistake with her.
That I  was the one you wanted.
The one you needed.
And in a drunken haze you told me you loved me.
And I stupidly believed you.
What ever happened to the saying,
“drunk words are sober thoughts…”
Because the very next day you proved that that saying
Couldn’t be father from the truth...
Because you ran right back to her
The minute she snapped her fingers.
Seeing you together, I always wished it was me.
Seeing you together, I always thought she was the luckiest person alive.
Seeing you together, I always felt...
Broken.
But then again
Your fights. Your screams. Your drama.
Was like a tornado sweeping up everything in its path.
Not caring what, or who, you destroyed.
Maybe I was the lucky one after all.
Maybe you both were the broken ones.
Trying to fix yourselves with each other.
But that’s never worked… has it?
So thank you — one I always wanted.
Thank you — one I never had.
You really did me a favor.