Something i've noticed is that i’m not as good as people think or might have heard. My achievements and awards lose more and more meaning every day. In the beginning of the recruiting process they meant everything. “Congrats on first team all state brandon. When would you and your family want to come up for a visit?” Most of the time i reply saying “who is this?”. I've never heard from this guy before but he acts like were best friends and like i've committed to his college already. That's okay though, i'll play ball. If my achievements are going to get me into my college of choice then so be it. I sent the transcripts and test scores out and the recommendation letters out like everyone else. After looking at all those documents side by side though i quickly realized these colleges didn't want me going there to lift their overall average. At this point football awards are helpful. I thought i was screwed, i never knew that you could have grades like mine, that weren't bad but could just definitely be better, and still go to a good four year college. I hate how different my situation is though. Coaches tell me i'm in over text instead of a letter from admissions you open with your family. Although i guess i should be grateful but that's not important right now. Okay so i'm in, what now? Which one? Hardest decision i've probably ever have to make. But before i choose i realize how unimportant my achievements have become. No one has said anything, congrats have died down. They've been replaced by workout plans and overnight visits with people who are just as good as me. What was i to do with all these great athletes around me who have that leg up of playing at the next level? I have a chance of playing my first year but how big or slim is the chance. The answers were simple of course. I needed to better myself even more than i already have. Everything is working out for me along the lines of sports and academics. I have a chance to start my freshman year at my number one school. The only thing holding me back is me. I could do what many people have done before me. Be a big recruit have everything go greatly but then be lazy and not workout and not get better in the offseason to be ready to play as soon as possible which is what the coaches are expecting. Letting school and football be too much and go back home are things ive witnessed and learned from.  That can't be me though, i have to be different than these poeple. I owe it to myself to succeed when i have the best opportunity to do so. Im aware it isn't going to be easy but i never expected it to be. The  tough offseasons of college footbal and academic load is going to be hard to balance but im ready to get the hell out of cornwall and continue succeeding at Utica College.