It's been three months since I've seen your handsome face.

Three whole months since I've heard your beautiful voice.

Three whole months since I've cried over how your talent...

I just wanted to say something because it really hurts to keep this in...

When I first laid my eyes on you, I thought you were the leader of your group...

You had such defined muscles, a strong look on your face, and your vocals were so powerful. I was so convinced that you were the face of your group. You were amazing.

And of course I realized you weren't, after looking up some information on you and the others. But that didn't stop the admiration.

Day after Day I listened to your group's songs. And I realized that your group made me happy. Your smile and theirs together made me turn cheesy from time to time and I didn't mind it at all. Because your group was something that made my heart go crazy. I was grateful. So grateful that I would burst into tears whenever I'd listen to your group sing.

And the reason I was so grateful? Well I came across a song one day that told me to never become weak even when there's not a single place to rest. To lean onto the ryhythm while I wait for tomorrow. Your group sang that song and it helped me when I felt like I had enough. It helped me when my anxiety got the better of me. You were my inspiration and strength all in one.

And I listened to your solo album as well... Because I knew you'd never dissapoint and I was right. No matter what, your style in music, your vocals... Everything about it was simply amazing.

But a part of me feels like I wasn't the best fan either..

I was asked questions but I didn't take them serious you know..

But a part of me should have.. Or I feel like I should have because maybe it would've gave us more time..

And I feel guilty...

I feel guilty because listening to your songs, the signs were there..

The signs that showed you needed someone to hold you close and tell you everything was going to be alright...

The signs that showed you just needed reassurance.

Signs that told us that you were suffering and yet nobody reached out and gave you that shoulder to lean on...

You know on the night of December 17.. I had a dream where I was circling the names of your group on a piece of paper. I circled his name, his name, his name, and his name... But I never circled your name... I never got to.. And I really wished I did... Because the next day I was told something that shattered my world... Something that took me down..

I was told that you were gone.

And I was hoping that it was a mistake. That something happened but you were going to get better and be okay...

But that wasn't the case...

And it hurt...

It hurt many people..

It hurt me...

I stayed up night crying... Wishing that it was all a dream and that I'd get to see you smiling... And talking to us all through a screen....

And it never happened....

Then days pass, and your last album comes out... I didn't want to listen to it... Because I was afraid... Of what, I don't know... I was just scared and hurt... But I still listened to it because even though I didn't want to, I needed to. I needed to listen to you because it was you...

And that hurt me more... Not only a few seconds in and I was crying like a child.. Crying because I knew that you wouldn't come back to me... to us... And When I saw you in that music video You were glowing... Glowing like the beautiful star you always will be....

But I didn't think I was still hurting... I thought that maybe I was starting to get over it but you came to me in a dream again... A dream I didn't want to wake up from because I knew that once I opened my eyes, it would mean goodbye... And I didn't want to let you go...  But I had to... I had to when I saw you in the sky... changing the color of the moon to tell me that you're okay..

And I want you to know something.

Something extremely important...

Even though I'm hurting and I wish you were here...

I want you to know that I'm not angry..

I'm not angry because I know how you felt. I understand your pain. I undertsand what you went through. I understand just how hard it was..

I want to let you know..

That not only do I miss you...

But I will always love you and remember you...

Thank you for everything...

For helping me..

For helping others who were going through tough times...

For just showing us the love we needed..

You did well~

So Rest well My Dearest Angel.