some might call me a saint for being so selfless
but
in reality                                                      
i have become so selfless that i have no self left

every movement of my jaw is layered with the pain of words which have never crossed my lips
every movement of my joints is hindered by needles of abuse which stab into my skin even though it is clear i have never inflicted it
every movement of my blood stream is filled with molecules of oxygen which are lined with torment                                       
every movement of my eyelids is accompanied by tears i could never shed, for they do not belong to me
every movement of my lips is partnered with war cries given to me by those who could no longer fight for themselves
every movement of my feet opens the ground to reveal the souls of all those who couldn’t hold the weight of their stories and instead decided to hand it over to me
my lungs are perforated by the cries from those asking for help--
and the failure of those surrounding them to provide
my mind is clouded by the fear of becoming monsters in the wake of tragedy--
and the pain of those who gave themselves up to evil
my stomach is penetrated by the sins of those who mean to harm--
and the shouts of anguish from their victims
my heart is beating to the rhythmic cries for one ounce of strength--
and the final breaths of those who did not hold on long enough to receive it

i gave up counting the number of people i hold inside of me shortly after i gave up keeping track of myself
i have disappeared in a sea of sorrow and have nothing left to do but drown along with those who weren’t saved soon enough
i wanted to be the savior of sufferers and survivors at all costs, but never realized that cost would end up being myself                                          
i sacrifice my mind to those few still alive in the eye of the storm which will never end in hopes that they will survive at least until i am no longer here to see them die
i gave what i had until i held nothing more and then proceeded to give parts of myself which are not meant to be taken
i have become someone who looks at a sunset only to end up regretting that action later because my eyes do not deserve such beauty
i wanted to grow into a person who helped everyone and was, as a result, loved; but i turned into an emotional punching bag
i sacrifice my heart every day by giving my breaths to those who truly need it leaving nothing for myself but a shortened life span

some might call me a saint for being so selfless
but                                       
in reality
i have become so selfless that i have no self left