I had to let you go

The early morning fog hung in the air; still, dense, suffocating.
The halter rope scraped, bit into, mocked at my trembling hands.
The sun hid itself, unwilling to be a witness of such cruelty.
The time had come for a final tearing apart of friends—I had to let you go.

Your eyes looked up to mine, so deep and clear in its amber confidence, its unwavering trust:
My heart went out to you, breaking and bleeding: I was a traitor, a betrayer of your unconditioned love.
But there was nothing I could do to stop the inevitable, never could stem the flow of time.
The hour was near, was here: I had to let you go.

The door to death and uncertainty yawned before us: and I had to push you in.
Obediently, without doubting me guidance you stepped into the darkness—
The door clanged shut, a sickening thud, locking you away from me and me from you forever.
There had been no choice, no other road: I had to let you go.

With a jolt the truck lurched off the road, the taillights the coulor of blood:
The color, the substance that would soon disfigure you: innocent, loving, gentle friend.
My eyes blurred—tears turned to sobs—as the truck disappeared down the street….
And you disappeared from my life: I had to let you go.

The parting was sudden, our life together too short, too brief:
I loved you while you were alive—I love you now—but now love is overshadowed by grief.
Tears flow down unbidden, irrepressible, for the friend that I had—and lost---
Choice did not exist for you, for me: and I had to let you go.

A bit of wool to remember you by: your playful antics, your carefree life:
Memories fill my mind of you, of us together, of your twin lambs, your unmistakable call…
Memories that cause a smile on my face, and tears to fall down my eyes—
The parting may be past, but the wound is still raw—I had to let you go.

Now standing here, leaves falling onto the ground, dead leaves all around me—
Dead as you are now, or soon would be.
Dead—but forever alive in my heart, in my memories.
And so I let you go.

You were, you are, you forever would be my friend.
Nothing can change that, not even death. I love you.
I only ask that you forgive my wrong—for your sake and mine—
I had to let you go.