Complication | Teen Ink


July 14, 2017
By TheUtopianWriter SILVER, Hays, Kansas
TheUtopianWriter SILVER, Hays, Kansas
8 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge"
~ Albert Einstein

I rake
Up the flaws and disgrace
Look in the mirror and stare myself in the face
Playing the games
Tired of the chase
Too many promises broken
They were left behind
Distorted mind
I want to say I’m done once and for all
Holding back
Not trying as hard as I could be
Why is it so hard to see?
Something is blinding me
Myself is to blame
The depression has been built
Wish I had thought the right thoughts
The more I want to stop the more I want to indulge
Sadness slaps me hard, letting really feel it
Can’t believe this is me
Walking around and feeling this way
F*** up
Drinking my problems
Was dead set
On getting faded
Wait, now I feel hated
I’m frustrated
This situation is complicated
Something in the air and I’m breathing it in
Is it good, is it bad
Sounds in the distance
Here comes the suspense
Loud noises fill my ears
Overload on memories
Sickness and anger
It all reminds me of danger
Thinking I’m sinking and winking
Trying to give a sign that I’m not fine
That I’m about to make the sirens whine
Because I’m crazy
No maybe
I’m little lazy
Figuring it out; my life
Why do I want to cut my wrist with a knife?
It’s not a pretty sight, it isn’t right
Things in my head, thoughts have been kind of dead
Then they start to spark when I’m trying to do good
These thoughts are bad
Leading off track
I’m not sure how to get back
I wake up and my eyes are red, couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about life instead
My eyes water, tears are shed
It’s been too long since I just let loose and untied the noose
Feeling a feeling so healing
I wish my head wasn’t peeling
Insanity, loss of my sanity
Standing in front of a train
Jumping out of the way
Now I didn’t die
But I don’t feel the same
Sometimes I like a little pain
I hate fighting my emotions
But if I don’t I’ll lose it
Starting using again
After I get caught
My brain already starting to rot
I start maintaining
Just painting
The bigger picture that lies within my heart
Blue eyes
Blonde hair
What do I see?
I’m looking at me
I could do better
When am I going to start?
For now, I guess I’ll make art
I rake
Up the feelings of disgrace
Hold up, I think I’m going to need some space

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This article has 1 comment.

on Dec. 5 2017 at 2:46 pm
MarkOfMidas BRONZE, Hays, Kansas
3 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am all"

Man, you are really good