Hello there.

Some days are better than others,
But your life still seems rather sad.
Your days are spent in silence,
Even when your thoughts scream.
I know you're lonely darling,
I can help you with that.
You keep so much to yourself,
In due time you’ll explode.
But don’t worry dear,
And fear no longer;
Now you have me,
I’ll listen to what you have to share.
Never again will you be alone,

I’ll be here.

I will always be here.

Listen to my voice,
How it rings in your ears.
Hear what I say as it echos through your mind,
Like a mantra of sorts.
You can’t escape my words,
No matter how hard you try.
Yell all you want,
Cry and shout.
It won’t work,
I’m a part of you now.
If anyone asks, say you’re okay.
Play pretend and fake a smile;
Act happy until the end.
Even though on the inside you feel like dying,
Appear calm.
Don’t show others how you struggle,
They already think you’re weak.
Look at those girls over there,
The can see all of your insecurities.
Their whispers are about you,
They’re laughing at your mistakes.
See that guy,
The one with the big group of friends?
You’ll never be like him,
You’ll never be one of them.
No matter how hard you try,
You will never be enough.
I know how hard you’re trying,
But failure appears inevitable.
There’s nothing you can do,
At least not right.

Perhaps you should be punished for all of your wrongs.
Your dad won’t miss it,
That razor.
He won’t even know it’s gone,
I bet.
All you need to do is slide it gently across your skin
To release the hurt you harbor inside.
Feel as it becomes physical,
Tangible.
It comes in the form of crimson red
And drips down your arms.
Shhhh,
Darling don’t cry.
You’ll get used to the piercing sting;
Before long you won’t even care.
Soon enough you will crave the ache,
Need it just to feel.

Once you become numb, even the worst of feelings is better than none.

Look how far you’ve come,

You have become quite the artist.
You paint with brushes made of metal
That fit so easily in your hands.
You paint in strokes that are sporadic,
like a builder with no plans.
Your body is a canvas,
What was once blank is now covered.
No longer are you the artist,
You have become the art itself.

But there is something wrong with this picture.
Look at your arms
And that stomach of your’s.
Where’s the gap,
The one that should be between your thighs?
How disgusting,
When you reach your entire body seems to jiggle.
The calories stick on you,
Like a hungry leech.
It wouldn’t hurt to skip a meal or two,
In fact I think it’ll help.
But if you do eat,
Just follow my plan;
It’s not hard,
Not really.
Just stick your fingers down your throat,
Now a little further.
Look how easy it was,
And effective.
Now do it again,
Like a song stuck on repeat.

Skinny looks so pretty on you, watch as you fade.
You have learned to ignore the burn of your throat
And the call of your stomach.
The clothes you wear hang off your frame
To hide the body underneath that you despise.
You’re progressing
Little by little.
But you’re not perfect yet;
You could still lose a few more pounds.
It’s still not enough,
You’re still not pretty enough.
But heed my advice and eventually you will be,
Just follow the plan.

A little bit of hunger won’t hurt.
It isn’t enough to kill you, but maybe it should be.
Your heart is like a porcelain doll;
Frail and for decoration only.
It seems to have no function,
Though it surely does;
Because although it beats in tune to a broken melody,
You live in way that is not really living.
You merely exist,
There is no light in your eyes.
All of your features have become rather bland,
Washed out.
Except your bones
Which now appear sharp to the touch.
Even though your hips and ribs protrude,
It is your words that cut like glass.
You lash out on those around you,
And berate yourself even more.
Oh darling,
How pathetic you have become.
Quite the burden you are,
All that you touch is a mess.

Everything would be much better if you were gone.
A solution to rid yourself of all the pain,
Simple really.
Like an undo button,
Ctrl + Z.
No one will mourn for you,
You never meant that much to them.
They have long since learned to disregard,
To ignore your cries of attention.
This is for the best,
Trust me.
All of this will be over soon,
It won’t be long now.
The bath is filled to the brim
and the knife is out.
A cut is made like so many times before,
However this one seems to go much deeper.
Colors swirl in the water as your pain is released,
Feel as your body becomes light and hazy.
It will all fade to black,
And you will be gone.

No longer are you around.
You don’t see the way your mother cries,
Or how your father weeps.
The misery of your brother is lost upon you,
Like an old photograph stashed away.
Your peers will wonder what signs they missed,
And your teacher will think they could have done more.

If only they knew how I ate away at your thoughts.
That I was the one who picked up the razor
And put down the food.
How I invaded your mind
and took over your life.
Slowly I made you into a shell
In the worst way.
You became a ghost,
But one with a beating heart.

At least it did, until I made it stop.
I ripped apart your skin and tore away at your soul,
I crushed your sense of life.
When I said no one liked you,
You believed me.
When I said you were fat,
You believed me.
When I said you deserved it,
You believed me

You trusted in me so blindly.
It was my voice that convinced you,
The one you followed.
I watched as you listened to every word
And fell apart piece by piece.
It was my voice that persuaded you to hide away,
To separate yourself from others.
I put thoughts in your head,
Made you think no one was there for you.
It was my voice that corrupted you,
Made you sad.
I made the scars more than just physical,
You were wounded so deep inside.
Not once did you question my judgment,
Or ask why.
Because it was my voice
That sounded just like your own.