Everyday in my boring, dull, uneventful life I do the same thing; push through school, drown in my homework when I get home, eat dinner, go to dance, and then do it all again the next day. However, one particular day was a little extra special.
At school on a rainy old Monday, we had a boring old assembly, as my boring old principal took the stage to make an announcement. He held the microphone in his left hand with a beige folder in his right hand. He pulls a piece of paper out of the folder and starts to make a boring old speech, something about respect or kindness or intelligence when all of a sudden I hear “Katelyn Smith” flow out of his mouth. The whole school is in the gym and in each row a different class, and one by one the rows clap and shout excitedly at me. I stumble onto the stage when I am handed an award that says “Student of the Month Award” on it and a brush of exhilaration comes over me. Once I got over the shock of this accomplishment I made my way down the 4 stairs on the side of the stage and found my spot when all my classmates gave me high fives and hugs.
As soon as I had gotten home, I ran straight to my mom to deliver the news, but when I delivered the news, it appeared she had a somewhat forced smile on her face. Her mouth showed a grin yet her eyes showed a look of sorrow. I knew she was proud for me, but I also knew she was in a rough situation at the moment. Just two weeks before my “I am the best kid in the school” award, my grandpa became sick very quickly and had to be taken to a nursing home for 24/7 care. It started to take most of his strength to do easy, everyday tasks. He became weak and he almost always had to be sitting or lying down. He wouldn’t attend family events because he couldn’t escape his bed. The day I had received my award, we were going to visit him.

3 / 14/ 2010

Dear Diary, today I won the coolest award for being good at school. When I told mom she was happy but sad at the same time. I don’t know how you can have 2 feelings at the same time but whatever. Today we are also going to visit Grandpa at the hospital place (I know it’s not called a hospital but I forget the word Mom calls it). The last time I saw him he seemed sick but he could still play with me so I didn’t mind that we were at a hospital thing. Bye Diary.

“Kids, it’s time to leave to go see grandpa!” my mom calls out.
We all pile into the into the car and drive to the place where all my happiness and joy will soon be taken from me and locked away in this place of torture.

3 / 14 / 2010

Dear Diary, today I went to see Grandpa at the hospital thingy. When we got there the nurse brought him out of his room so he can say hi to us. When he came out he gave me and my brother a bracelet. The bracelet had my name on it. Well my name was shorter, it said Kate and not Katelyn (but I don't care). Each block had a different letter and different color on it. When he gave it to us his hand was shaking and I think that is because he is sick. Mom started crying while we were there but I didn’t really understand why. I know he is sick but soon he will feel better and come home. Grandpa seemed a lot more sick than the last time we saw him. He couldn’t get out of his wheelchair and wasn’t really talking. Then we went to his room. He had a little tv hanging from the ceiling over his bed which was pretty cool. The news was on which was boring but that's what Grandpa likes so it’s ok. The bed had little railings on the side which I remember having as a baby so I didn’t fall out of the bed. So a little later we gave Grandpa a hug and kiss and I told him I loved him and then we left. Bye Diary.

Friday finally rolls around; my 2nd grade self had been waiting her whole week for this day. This was finally my chance to be appreciated for all the hard work my 2nd grade self put into school. On Friday morning my eyes shoot open an hour before my alarm goes off. I leap out of my  wooden framed bed and my purple blanket flies through the air onto the floor. I skip to my dresser to brush my hair and put on my rainbow sweatshirt and baggy jeans. I swing my door open to go brush my teeth with 1 hour and 30 minutes left until my favorite day of school will begin. With my red, blue, and white striped toothpaste laying on my pink toothbrush bristles ready to clean my teeth my mom calls my name.
“Katelyn...can you come in here please”, calls my mom from her bedroom. I hear a sound of desperation in her voice and I don’t know what to expect.
“Coming mom”, I reply with worry in my voice.
When I enter the room my mom is sobbing in her hands laying on her bed.
“Mom, whats wrong?” I asked concerningly. My mom didn’t respond she just pulled her head up slowly with her eyes bright red and full of tears. She stared at me with an empty look in her eyes. I approach the bed and  repeat, “Mom, whats wrong, you are scaring me”. She motions her arm for me to join her on the bed, so I do. I lie down next to her and my mom wraps her cold, lifeless arms around me. Once her head is next to mine she whispers in my ear, “Grandpa passed away last night”. I go still. I can feel my last breathe exit my body. Everything around me stops. Time stops. Emotions stop. Life stops. All I hear is the wind smacking the side of the house. All I can smell is the freshly fallen raindrops diffusing through the open window.  There I sit on my mom’s ivory, floral comforter when one single tear rolls down my cheek taking my last memory of my Grandpa with it. I collapse into my mom’s arms and allow all the water in my body to escape through my eyes.
“Sweetie... I know, I I know, you have your lunch today with the princi-principal, and you have been so ex-excited for it. But it's ok if if you stay home because you wa-want to collect yourself.” My mom can barely make out the words to talk to me.
“Mom I want to stay home, I can't go to school.”
“Honey, I know you want to stay home but I think Grandpa would want you to go today.” I looked up to meet my Mom’s eyes looking down at me. My mom has always been such a strong woman and I realize this is the first time I have ever seen my mom break. I try to control my tears to prove to my mom I can be strong too. Even though I wipe the tears away on my face, I know my mom can tell there will always be a permanent tear left behind by my Grandpa in my heart.
“It will be ok…” my mom attempts to comfort me. At a slow pace I ease my feet off the side of the bed and try to gain my balance from my weak, beaten down body. I tromped to my room as if there was an anchor chained to feet. I gathered my backpack and books and when I stood up my reflection was visible in my butterfly mirror. My reflection was not my reflection. My reflection belonged to a different little girl; a heartbroken little girl who no longer had a beautiful, life full butterfly mirror but a bear trapped in a cage mirror.            
My mom stood in the doorway and alerted me it was time to go to school. I barely made it to the car without my legs collapsing under me. The ride to school went on for an eternity, as each building past another memory of my Grandpa passed away too. The school bell rang and I slammed the heavy school door open in an action of anger. Why me? Why now? Questions that ran through my head that I knew would never be answered. I sat down in my cold, metal, navy blue chair and hung my head in between my knees as the other children hung up their backpacks.
“Mrs.Casey, can I go to the bathroom?” I utter as I wipe the tip of my nose with my sleeve.
“Of course Katelyn, just sign out over there,” she exclaimed while pointing to a slip of paper resting on a filing cabinet by the door. I throw my backpack over my shoulder and stomp to the sign out sheet. My hands are trembling and I can barely make out the letters I had just written. Once I reach the bathroom, I slam the stall door shut and pulled my diary out my front zipper of my backpack and let all my emotions pour out of me.

3 / 18/ 2010
Dear Diary, today I found out Grandpa died. I don’t know what to do. I keep crying and can’t stop. I don’t want to go back to class and cry in front of everyone. I am mad too why did this have to happen to me? I love Grandpa and I don't know how things will be without him here. Right now I am in the bathroom at school because I am crying and I need to cry. I can’t hold it in anymore. I don't know how I am going to stop crying in front of Ms. Hughes (principal) because today is the special lunch. I guess I will figure it out. I have to go back to class now. Bye Diary.

The door squeaks as I gently turn the handle which interrupts Mrs.Casey teaching the class how to borrow number when we are subtracting. I walk at a fast pace to my seat and apologize for disturbing the class. I lay my head down on the table and try to shut out the world around me while tears begin to stream down my face onto my paper which creates two wet circles over 20 - 18 = ___ and 14 - 7 = ___.
The next five periods are the same and students notice that I am crying but when they try to console me I just reject their concern towards me. Then the clock strikes 12:34 and that means lunch. As my class walks to the cafeteria, I separate from them by the library to walk towards the  principal’s office. I pull the door outwards so my body can slip into the office. Mrs. Hughes greets me and pulls a chair out for me where my mcdonalds happy meal with 4 chicken nuggets, small fry, 6 apple slices, and 9 oz milk waits for me. While I eat we have a boring old conversation, in her boring old office, with her boring old decorations, so my mind starts wandering off.  I start thinking back to a time when my Grandpa brought me to McDonalds and he told me the funniest story and made me laugh so hard that milk came out of my nose! I start to laugh in my head but at the same time I feel empty thinking that I can't share anymore moments like that again with him. I try to focus again on the conversation so I don't start crying because I can sense my eyes watering. I take a deep breathe and my eyes lock onto a blue marble vase that sits on Mrs.Hughes desk full of bright red roses with perfect little pedals that look like the magical rose in Beauty and the Beast. They almost have a magical feeling to them and I am protected when I look at them. One rose in particular had almost a glow around the perimeter of the rose and makes me feel secure. Everything will be ok.

3 / 18 / 2010

Dear Diary, I just got home from school and I had lunch with the principal. The food was yummy and something strange happened. There was these cool roses she had that made me feel like everything would be ok with Grandpa. I was mad and sad earlier because I had just lost him but then I stopped and thought about how he helped me learn so many things. He tought me to be a nicer person. He is in a better place now and someday I will be with him again. Mom told me today that right now he is looking down at us and will always keep our family safe. Grandpa taught me a good lesson today...love is never gone. Bye diary.