Mother keeps constantly telling me

I didn’t realize I was always a problem child,
I thought I was a good child. A good kid lmao
If I had a penny for every time I heard a story from my mother, family and family friends
About how I cried all the time as a baby and my mother always took care of me
Always. We were kangaroos.
Everyone always tells me how my mom would come right away every time she heard me cry and I cried a lot.
I have this memory of us that makes me cry.
Makes me cry cause it’s so beautiful
This one night when we were living in Rajindrupur I wanted eggs at 3.
And you sang with me and made me eggs in the kitchen and you danced with me.
And your voice is so beautiful I can hear all love.

I hate to hurt you now. I know I hurt you a lot,
(I will fix it)

When I was five and I came to you and dad in the middle of the night,
Asking if I can sleep with you and dad would be so mad,
He would yell at me and scold me when I would scoop up in the middle move a little too much and whisper something to mommy. And I would cry

I would cry and lie on the floor beside my mother’s side of the bed
Face covered in tears
Ma would call me up with that sweet voice of hers
I would refuse the first three times.

When I turned thirteen I remained a problem child.
The problems just changed.
I know my mother wishes they had stayed the same.
My room would smell like smoke

Same issue at 18

At 21