My brain will not slow down
God must have forgotten
The pause button

Constant thoughts run through
Like one thousand rivers
Where’s the dam?

I wish I wasn’t like this
So insecure, so worried
About every breath, every step

I feel guilty for breathing
Like I will forever have
Something to feel bad about

Darkness doesn’t calm me
Only adds fuel to the fire
Sleep seems to never come

My life, one big worry
No reason, no relief, no rest
My mind won’t leave my heart alone

What is a thought when it feels so real
But that ceiling fan will never fall
The doors are locked, the stove is off

Why don’t you check once more?
False memories, lingering regrets
How can I let this go?

Do not say a thing
But I will anyways, because my mind
is the devil on my shoulder

The angel’s mouth is taped shut
By endless, racing comments
In my head; won’t let it speak

My words to her only hurt myself
Only way I can stop talking
I haven’t yet figured it out

I wish I wasn’t like this
Who have I become?
When will I live for me?

Until the love grows deeper for
My selfish, loathing self
Will I breathe for the first time

For the first time in what seems
Like forever.