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To Myself At 12 AM
It’s that moment
when you finally finish the project
you’ve been working on
all week.
That feeling of accomplishment,
and relief,
and utter exhaustion
to the point that you
don’t care about what’s on the paper,
only that’s it’s done.
It may not be the best,
but I am so proud.
It’s that moment
when you can’t sleep at all
because the monsters running through
your head are yelling too loud.
Don’t believe a word they say.
You are strong.
You are smart.
You are loved.
You are more beautiful
than you believe.
I see you for who you are,
and I am so proud.
It’s the moment
when you see your life falling apart,
and everything you’ve worked for
is completely wasted.
There’s more to life
than just these classes.
The scholarship isn’t that important.
You’ll make it through this.
You’ve seen worse.
You’ve gone through hell
and back,
and I am so proud.
It’s that moment
when you’re not sure
if you can go on.
Life seems hopeless;
there’s nothing left to
drive you forward.
The window looks nice,
and you wonder if you’d like to fly.
Life may seem dreadful now,
but it can go on
if only you keep trying.
I believe in you,
and I am so proud.

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One thing that is a defining feature of my depression/anxiety is the intense insomnia. I am kept up past midnight nearly everynight, and this poem is really just what I wish someone would say to me when I get bad.