I held a lighter to my lips

but there was no cigarette-

only blurred vision 

and a black scar.

For the only thing that could tame

a mouth like this is pain. 

Cold, numb, senseless pain,

the kind that you don't notice after a while.

I wear a wool sweater now,

one that drapes over my extruding ribs

like a veil,

with my knees at my chest and my wrists

hugging my legs. 

I tuck my face into the warmth of my body

because I am freezing...

I'm absolutely emotionless.

I haven't eaten in days, but that's okay.

It's okay.

I'm okay.

I promise.

Maybe cigarettes aren't that bad.