WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE CHEATED ON (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVEN’T BEEN)
first of all, it’s him holding your hand
telling you that he’s sorry
for the mistake that he made;
it’s feeling your heart break,
and trying to keep yourself from collapsing
just like the world is; it’s wondering what you did wrong
to make him do such a thing, what you could’ve done
to prevent it; it’s nights spent crying yourself to sleep,
unknowing if you can continue living,
continue loving, when all love has done
is broken you; it’s wanting to make him feel better,
because he regrets it more than anything he’s ever done,
but also wanting to make him suffer
the way that you are; it’s an inability to look at him
without imagining him with the other girl, his hands
holding her close instead of you; it’s seeing her
in the hallways and wishing you could blame
her, when it’s not her fault; it’s trying to make it work,
to find a way to heal, to save the past two years
of your life; it’s tear filled days and tear filled
nights; it’s getting drunk
to the point that the world spins
as much as your head is so that you don’t have to feel
the pain, so that you can bare to stay in the same room
without losing your mind; it’s drunk kisses
in an unknown place,
but feeling his kiss
is different.