When I was younger, I thought that I was the most hideous creature
To walk the face of the planet
I would look in the mirror, stroke my face, and cry,
Trying to pretend that the person I saw wasn't me

I sunk deeper and deeper,
Every breath a straining gasp
Asking, begging
Someone, anyone
To turn me into someone else

I found myself engaging in aimless,
Futile relationships to distract myself,
To liberate from something as simple as words
Words that would twist me ugly,
Engulf my every thought,
Control me,
Words that I let define who I was

I longed to have beauty of some sort
Yet, beauty comes from loving yourself,
And that was something that I could never do