Colorful carpets that might wrap you up
and suffocate you.
Crayons you could chew up and choke on.
Toxic markers and pens that you may eat.
Paper mâché and Elmers glue that will harden
in your throat.
Scissors for someone to make lacerations with.
That colossal TV in the corner patiently
waiting to crush you.
Legs of chairs ready and able to trip you.
Screaming and screeching
and pinching and biting
and whining and crying.
The teacher.
All these dangers of a first grade classroom,
no wonder we were so scared on our first day.
It’s high school now.
Has it gotten worse? Perhaps.
Gym class, puberty, homework, crushes,
mean girls, fights, and the most
atrocious of all; waking up so insanely early that it’s detrimental to our health and well-being.
So we wish to go back to first grade.