I am a boy
just a boy but you wouldn’t understand
Trust me I’m not taking a jab
Heck I don’t understand myself
But I AM a boy whose chest just so happened to expand
I am still a boy
my voice is higher than most
and my adams apple shows no growth but I am a boy
As a child I failed to smile
of course I showed my teeth and brought my lips to a grin
but that meant nothing
A fake smile is as good as
when a person pulls your pants down throws you on the ground and inserts
but you smirk and say it’s okay I deserved it
a fake smile is as good as
wrapping a cord around your neck and contemplating the decision
thinking no one would care either way
crying alone I whisper I am a boy who will soon grow into an older male teen
Trying my best to convince myself of these things is
useless.
It’s abusive
my body screams to be awaken from this dungeon of dreams
But my magic number is 18 so until then the screams are to be diluted by the music blasting through my earbuds
Although I’m tired of hiding it’s not just me fighting
both of my alter egos don’t know or realize how much could come from this
that if the timing is wrong then all of our lives are to be thrown in an abyss
I may be sounding a tad bit overdramatic but it’s not my fault
society has got teens like me caught
up in these small problems of being scared to express your true identity
NO you and me must conform
into a form that fits into society's “perfect picture”
It’s staggeringly amazing that we as people are forced to go through a hazing
and if you don’t pass then you don’t belong
the rules have been set for years
and i am afraid to say they might always be here
So to say I am a boy
even though i'm saying it in secret i'm proud that i can say it AND believe it
To me it’s no longer hidden.