From Your Friend | Teen Ink

From Your Friend

January 7, 2016
By CrystalCat BRONZE, Cincy, Ohio
CrystalCat BRONZE, Cincy, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments


I stare straight into your eyes with mine
Our conversations never go anywhere
Because all you ever want to talk about is
How ugly you are
How you messed up your life forever

How worthless you are
How much you want to slice yourself open
Whenever you see a knife
How much you want to take sleeping pills and never

Wake up.

And at this point I've lost our conversation
Because now all I want to talk about is
How much I want to smack your stupid face.
Because you don't realize
Whenever you tell me you are a terrible friend

That's like telling me I am a terrible friend.
One of the ways the dictionary defines friend is
"A person who gives support or assistance"
And if you think for even a second
That you are a terrible friend

That means I am a terrible friend
Because I didn't make you happy enough
Or support you enough
Or didn't make you special enough
To feel like you WERE a good friend.

Friends stick together
Friends share the blow
Friends cheer each other up
And when you have the nerve
To stand in front of me

And tell me that you are ugly and worthless
Time and time again
And still consider me to be
A good friend
Or even a good PERSON

NO. I lost that title the minute those words came out of your mouth
A good friend would make you feel gorgeous
A good friend would make you feel needed
So I don't even know why you can still talk to me
Because you just flat out said I'm an awful friend

The next day you will come over to me
And we will talk some more
And you will tell me
How you took more pills last night
Or how you almost slit your wrist again

And now you see I'm going to cry
And you ask why
And for the first time
I feel there is something I can't tell you
I cry because

You are such an idiot.
Even if you didn't actually pick up that knife last night
You just stabbed my soul in the heart.
Let me tell you something.
There are people at our school

And you know who I'm talking about
When I say they push and shove and yell
And bring you down yet somehow
They still have friends
Or at least a circle of people we see them laughing with each day

And now you say I am a worse human being than them.
Because I don't care if their "friends"
Get PAID to hang around them
They still make that person feel big and important
And to find out that I

Made you feel so worthless
As to make you almost
End your life.
Heck, I don't even deserve to be classified as a human anymore.
But, I probably deserved it.

If I couldn't make you feel important enough to live
Than I can't call myself human.
Because that's what a human should do
That's what a human should feel
And a friend needs to make it be felt

So if you really feel that way
You might as well kick me to the ground and leave.
After all, I need a little bit of comfort now anyway.
 


The author's comments:

Something I wrote a few years back. It's about a lot of people I knew then and just different things each person would do or say. I just like it a lot because it's true.


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