...And I love him. Soooo much. And I know he's hurt me so many times, but he is also the only person I have ever found true happiness with.He's so sweet, loving, and caring. He also notices the little things. He is amazing. And I just love him so much. I don't think he sees how much I love and care for him. I would do anything at this point to have him all for myself...But there's her. He also loves her. And I'm scared.

   I'm scared to get hurt again. Scared to fully express my emotions again. I'm scared that my heart will fail me and won't make it through another heart break. I'm scared that it'll completely shatter this time. And it won't be able to be put back together...Except only by the person who can so easily destroy it...I'm so vunerable in his hands. He has complete control of my heart.

   He doesn't know it yet, I'm not sure I want him too...He just, he puts me in a better place where I'm comfortable with myself. I don't doubt myself with him, or put myself down...I just love him so much, and it terrifies me. I can be completely honest with him. He won't judge me. I've yet to lie to him about one thing. I'm happy it's like that...

   Now we are talking again...We weren't suppose to talk about our feelings, but that's been hard for the both of us.We've been expressing it all. This also scares me, very much. I don't want to get hurt again, ever again...and that's why this time I'm holding back alot of my feelings. Taking caution to everything he says, so I won't take it how I did before. I don't want to lose him I love him so freaking much...

   Maybe one day I'll be able to open this journal and express how happy and ecstatic I finally am becuase he's finally mine...Hopefully, one day...

   Seems like too much to hope for...It's worth the pain though.