Sitting at my computer late one night
Trying to put my feelings onto the page before me
Nothing comes and I get frustrated
Can’t explain what he’s done to my heart and my head
People telling me it’s abuse but that’s not him
We’re not even a couple
How can it be abuse?
But then the truth hits
It hits me in such a way I feel like ice in a glass as the liquid pours over it
Suddenly I feel like a target in a long raging war
And I realize the truth
Every word he has said in the past five months flicker through my mind
Like an old movie projector that can only go in rewind
I hear every lie and every broken promise
I hear the insults and the jokes
I hear the put downs about how I look
I hear the kind words that caused all the confusion

And I feel him holding me close, and the feeling that I could shatter in his arms
I feel his hands wipe tears from my face that he caused
I feel his words cutting through my soul like a heart
I feel my heart breaking from all the things said and done

I can see the text messages, trying to make me feel guilty
I can see the words saying I ruined his happiness by having feelings
I can see the manipulation across my little Samsung screen

And every time I see his face I break all over again
The way he speaks to me like I am less than him
The way he looks at me with guilt when I can no longer meet his eyes
The way I feel sick and want to hide when I am near him now
The way he has completely changed me

That night I never would've believed them
When they said he was abusing me
But after a long night of reliving  all the pain
I knew they are right
I opened my eyes

Now they are open wide
And he won’t control me anymore
I will no longer be a victim of his abuse