i won’t say it

and i won’t write about it

but when you say to me
“lets just lay here” i want to scream
because i know it’s to stop me 
from opening my mouth
and burning you with the
broken, overused truth

you say it more often
than you should but
your tone is a subtle
insinuation that you don’t
mean it that way

words mean so much
less when you’re spitting
them down the throat
of every person that makes
you feel a little bit more alive

i know you’re scared that
when i finally decide i’m
ready to tell you what it is i want
that my words will rush
out of me and shatter your
illusion of apathy and that those 
iridescent shards of glass
will cover every wall of you
and that with the slightest inch
of movement you might hit one
and it might cut you open
and you might actually feel something

and it’s clear that you’re so in love with the idea
of love that once you’re actually
ready to feel it you fall apart so
please when the time comes

don’t say it back