You will lose friends
like you lose socks.
You'll even lose your old favorites
like you lose those silver earrings
you've had since you were six.
You'll outgrow some
and miss them
like that too-small dress that's still in your closet
and some will outgrow you
like your body
and the cramps and the hurt will feel
the same.
I want to apologize
because you and I make bad decisions
and dig and drown

in a grave.

But I also want to say thank you
because you will climb and claw
blood on your hands
and face
and clothes
and break the surface into sunlight
that kisses your tears
and see a headstone

without our name.
What I'm trying to say is,
I know you think you resent
us
and that there's no end
to the dirt they can pack
on top of us
but you're gonna have to

shut up
and swallow your fear
so that I can find
my heart
waiting

in sure patient hands
in the patient shade
of an oak tree and
be happy.
I'm sorry
and thank you.
It's my turn
to be selfish
and you have to be strong
enough
for now.
I'll take care of the rest.