I had that dream again last night,
The one that leaves me crying.
He tells me im not good enough,
And i should just quit trying.
I was just a pawn in his hand,
To use then cast away.
He gets inside my head and plays these little games.
He made me believe that I was wanted.
He told me that he loved me, and he was here to stay.
But all he did was use me,
And then he walked away.
Now im left here broken, saying its my fault.
Its really hard to talk about,
Because no one understands.
Whats its like to be abandoned by your dad again.
To want his love for nine strait years,
To be the perfect daughter.
To be for him all that i can be.,
Just to have him walk away.
No one can see me breaking,
Or the pain that this has caused.
I look fine on the outside, and say that nothings wrong.
Because im the strong one that never breaks,
Everyone counts on me, to make everything else go away.
So I bottle up my demons, and cast them all away.
Let no one know what im feeling.
Because, see that just my way.
So i walk around with this fake smile on my face.
Knowing that one day he will see,
The daughter that i could be,
The daughter that he lost.
As i look toward tomorrow for a better day.
Because when i look around i know im loved
By people who mater to me,
My mother, my brother, and my sisters to.
And by a stepfather who means the world to me
So I can proudly say to him. To Mark
Who needs a fathers love like your anyway.