My brain tells me things
it’ll release toxic fumes
disabling me from life itself
bliss is far from my reach
it left my memory long ago
these extreme dangers
are as real as bigfoot
yet my heart is imploding
suffocating me with imagination
something so simple to others
comes so rare to creatures like me
saying the first hello
adding a joke to a conversation
all opportunities for disaster in its eyes
in my eyes
phobia of humiliation
such big disasters that nothing comes out
no peep comes from these lips
catastrophe even comes
with no words
throwing something away
sharpening a pencil
their eyes on me feel so real
my legs shake, my hands shake
people have red eyes
their thoughts have me locked away
chained up, cold and starving
I can be doing nothing
and fear can hovering over me
like the demon it is, a black figure
keeping me hostage
hissing
“they’re talking about you,
they’re laughing at you”
as I look at the harmless humans
enjoying normal
hell is where I live
my home sweet home for years
most aliens like me like help
but some don’t
we are too fearful even for aid
people try, eventually give up,
get annoyed and tired
the beast is always present
lingering even now
melodies of soft music
the cool feel of being underwater
films of happier lives
push it away
for mere moments of peace
without my world of war
reality or fiction?