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I've Seen The Truth
April 29, 2015
I've always thought I was a nice guy.
Someone who puts others before myself.
When I met you though, my thoughts changed.
I've seen the truth, and it's condemning.
I feed off of your happiness.
This makes me selfish.
I can't stand to see you frown.
Even if I'm the reason.
I can't keep you happy every second.
Even though I know this, I refuse to believe it.
I live and die by the beauty of your smile.
And this, this is my weakness.
© Anthony R., Wilmington, MA
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This article has 5 comments.
LazyGenius SILVER said...
on May. 4 2015 at 10:23 am
I could try another version of it I suppose! Once again this is very different than how I usually write so I find it amusing that you chose the first two that you did to review!
LotusChild PLATINUM said...
on May. 4 2015 at 10:20 am
Hm, I like the subject, I can very much relate. However, there's a lack of motion, there's no flow to your statements which I feel would make them so much more powerful. Your selection of words would be better accompanied by a kind of movement in your writing, whether it be rhyming, repetition, line breaks, anything really, something to make your emotion apparent. Still, I feel that this piece has much potential. Would you consider writing another version of it?
LazyGenius SILVER said...
on May. 1 2015 at 11:49 am
You're too kind! Thank you very much!
Anime_Creepypasta_Poetry_Nerd BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2015 at 11:32 am
I may be just starting out as a poet, but this is amazing.
8 articles 1 photo 81 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Profound change is cumulative."