I still remember that night,
Like it was yesterday,
I was jamming out to our favorite rock band,
When the phone rang.
I was home alone,
Your mother tried to keep it together long enough,
To tell me to come over.
But I could tell something was wrong.

I still remember the sirens,
Blaring continuously,
I thought someone had gotten in an accident.
They followed me,
Like a funeral procession,
Sullenly,
Toward your house.

I still remember that moment,
When I burst through the door,
You weren’t there to greet me.
I started to worry,
Your mother walked around the corner,
Covered in blood.
I forgot to breathe in that minute.
I only remembered to when they came in.
Yelling,
Police flooded your living room,
Herding us to the kitchen,
Where the evidence would not be disturbed.

I still remember your body,
When I escaped the clutches of the police,
Running into the bathroom,
You were drenched in your blood.
Hair matted, eyes open,
Staring at me,
Apologizing, for the unforgivable.
They shielded my line of vision,
Ordering me to go back,
Thats all I needed to see anyway.

I still remember how tight your mom held me,
She cried and cried.
Praying that this wasn’t real.
I just sat there,
Zoned out,
Traveling back to my homeland,
Named Depression.

I still remember, our glorious plan,
Go out in a flare of light and glory.
Together,
Perfectly planned, perfectly ironic.
That was all thrown out that night,
Did you forget, or not want me there?
Don’t think you saved me,
You simply killed me more brutally,
Prolonging the pain.

I still remember how you betrayed me.
They watch me closely now,
Making sure I don’t try anything “stupid”.
But how can I be stupid with the most ingenious plan?
Yes, I will still carry it out,
Eventually,
When peering eyes finally blink,
They always do.
But for now,
I have to act okay,
Like you never existed.
That’s the only way I will ever get to you.