My mind is loud tonight.

It screams at me.
It is so easy to hear.
But so difficult to understand.
So silent to everyone but me.
I try to make people listen.
But it's speaking a language only I can understand.
A language I'm still trying to learn.
I ask for help.
But the help is all the same.
And only seems to hold a megaphone to the noisy voice.
I try and cover it's mouth with wild flailing hands.
But it always overpowers my tries.

Tonight my mind is quiet.
And earns my trust again.
I think I am figuring it out.
I tell it what it wants to hear.
But it is quick to break the bond we formed so shortly ago.
It yells so loud this time that everyone else can hear it too.
And it scares them.
But not nearly as much as it scares me.
They try and offer help.
And I am grateful.

But as much as it causes me so much pain.
My mind.
Is also my only source of comfort.