abused by the narcissist | Teen Ink

abused by the narcissist

March 15, 2015
By Idalette BRONZE, Cottonwood, Idaho
Idalette BRONZE, Cottonwood, Idaho
3 articles 1 photo 1 comment

no affection
the physical pain
my ideas are nothing
my time is not my own
and I am no one
nothing outside of you
in the world I could not survive
you care for me – you hate me
you want me to be like you
you hate me for not being myself
I don't have my own thoughts
everything is a problem
everything makes you angry
I cannot please you
you take everything I can give
you make me beg
you threaten to shoot me
I cannot be gone
I cannot escape
I must believe what you believe
anything you do not agree with is wrong
I am wrong. Always.
You are never wrong
I cannot say you are wrong
I am always the problem
you want to possess me
to control me in every way
you say I ruined your life
you took my life
you stole my virginity
if I leave, you will kill me
if I stay, you will kill me
I can't remember what truth is
your words are mixed with lies
I cannot breath
you caress me
you hit me
you hug me
you punch me.
Nothing is sane
I am insane
you make me feel insane
no one knows me
I know no one
I can't escape
I can't try


The author's comments:

This piece was inspired by the situation of a family I've known for a long time, but only recently understood that they have a history of abuse and narcissism, going back even four generations.

 

I have used no poetic license or metaphor in writing this. Everything in this poem is a reality.


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