it appears that i am joined by my friends once more
they are constantly by my side
never departing
never giving me a reprieve
my friends are my constant company, and buzz inside my head like fruit flies
they tell me what to do,
how to act,
who to trust,
what to think.
Constant whispers that someone is out to get me, that I can trust no one, that I have to
run
r  u  n
           r
                u
                     n
get away as fast as possible never stop never look back never

rest

they are not my friends, they are the stuff of nightmares
they haunt my existence,
like my own personal poltergeist
they are my only company
everyone else i care about has already left,
scared by the monster i have become
if only i could leave,
for i am scared
of
m  y  s  e  l  f
i hate who i am
the loss of innocence
the
d
e
s
c
e
n
t
to insanity that
they
are causing
i have no control over myself
my actions
i can only watch from above,
a mere
spectator
in the show of my life

i am scared

i want to go home go back to the peaceful innocence of childhood go back to the
s
    w
          i
    n
g

in the backyard go back to being

loved

i need help
i scream out into the dark but
no
one
hears
me

except my friends
and they trap me in my own
personal
hell

head buzzing
eyes darting
ears flooding
i am
d
r
  o
   w
    n
     i
      n
       g
going mad
can’t control my actions
can’t control myself
hurt the ones i love
lose everything i know
i’m overwhelmed
truly crazy
they are telling me to die
to hunt the ones that hunt me
to leave
to listen to them
only them
big brother is watching
need to escape

i am pushed to the edge of a cliff-
and i
f
a
   l
    l
like a
stone
into the icy depths
of my mind
and
no
one
will
save
me

i open my eyes,
and i am alone