I wasn’t shy in elementary school.
Most outgoing girl in the world.

I was a girl with a candescent light,
And a voice so bold the birds in the tree tops could hear it.

And then I went to a bigger school
Where suddenly my spark wasn't bright enough to light the entire building.
Where suddenly my voice and my elaborate thoughts weren't big enough to fill the vast emptiness.

And now a few sunrises later . . .
I have come to a school even bigger than before.

A bigger school, where the sparks of others have already provided light.
And their thoughts and voices have already filled the empty space.

I watch and listen far too much.

I have lost my spark.

I have lost my voice.

Between the hustle and bustle of growing up,
I have let my light fade and my voice recede to a mere whisper only I can hear.

But since the shouts of reality are much greater than that of my gray silence,

I have come to realize my shyness is not a trait I was born with.
Its is a trait I have developed due to my biggest fear; not being good enough.

This is not a fairytale which ends in perfection . . .

I have not found my spark.
And I have not found my voice.

But everyday as I walk through the crowded hallways of my highschool, I search for what is mine.

And I can only hope that when I find them, there will be a small corner in this immense school, that needs a candescent light and that needs a bold voice to break-its silence.