Wither tethered falling apart,
I’ve seen you bleed fast and hard
I’ve taken gaping bites of your beating blue heart
I’ve kissed your drug-adled appendages soft
And traced your smile nine to five through your
Pneumonia of the heart, depression cough
You’ve grown sick sick sick and I’ve waited by the phone
You don’t pick up or dial anymore- you’re in the bath,
Being broiled and being alone
You bake me pastries if only to put
Your head in the oven, if only to coat
Your throat with malignant black soot.
And I wait by the window to see you walk past
My heart waits by the doorbell to hear your footsteps,
To feel your lungs breathe in home at last
But your pretty white teeth smile wide
And someone younger mixes you that cocktail
You’ve waited for me to lace with cyanide,
I think you’re still waiting for me to kill you—
But it’s something I cannot bring myself
To do,
A promise I made long before the days
My dreams were filled with Aryan blue,
And that slick slide glide of a knife is new,
But I sit and wait, pop a few
I kiss your lips and expect ash;
Instead, like licking a church pew
Darling, there will never be a day when I am through,
When I am no longer enamored with you
And your fragile bones,
Your thinning white hair
And your outstanding loans,
And your bruise easy skin like rainbow hue,
The crack of your back and knee,
The wrists lined in blue,
And you try try try to swallow fast
To stay under the water just a bit too long
But I refuse to make you a part of my past;
You’re staying with me, as long as you can
‘till your lungs give out and your beating heart
stills in my hand.