If you went, I would have to sit back and watch

as your friends and family cried and mourned,

and at most, join them.

If you went, no one would tell me they are sorry

for my loss.

I would have no one's shoulder

to cry on.

I would be another lost aquaintance.

If you went,

tomorrow, next week, next month,

I would be expected

to do none other than hang my head and say,

"Jeez, what a loss, what a future wasted."

No one would know I was the one

who would have gladly taken your place,

or held you as you went.

And I lie awake at night,

taking this thought into deep consideration

and the only conclusion

it leads me to is that

this may possibly be why

you do not love me.