sometimes

i feel like
if i was pretty
in the blue eyes skinny straight hair long legs nice butt kind of way
you'd like me

like if my skin had a little more
sunscreen
some more
moisturizer
mixed into it
you'd find me more attractive

like if my eyes had the hues of the grass or the oceans you'd stare in awe
because they’re more mesmerizing
than a pool of mud
and dirty water

like you'd really want
to be
around me
to like me
to love me

i blend into the dirt the desert and its mountains
desolate and dry
i am not
your sonoran rose

i am
the dirt
you step on