Must Always End | Teen Ink

Must Always End

November 26, 2014
By itsyourmaingirl SILVER, Flint, Texas
itsyourmaingirl SILVER, Flint, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Show me a family of readers and I will show you the people who will change the world.


The gentle ruby red flames

slash against the wood; quite tame.

Burning it from the inside out,

the Oak quietly turned to ash and shouts.

 

As the log begins to shrink,

the sparks shoot up in a blink.

Plenty fill the chimney made of brick,

as this happens you hear a loud tick.

 

Occasianally, it gets simply too much,

and the flaming wood begins to crunch.

A blazing chunk jumps out

and quickly diminishes into something stout.

 

Slowly, all the people go to bed,

before the father lays down his head.

He places a cage around the burning trees

and sneaks off into the darkness with ease.

 

As the fire winds down to only an ember,

all of us must always remember.

That no matter how strong the fire tends,

everything beautiful must always end.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Nov. 30 2014 at 11:31 pm
Helena_Noel BRONZE, Burnt Hills, New York
1 article 0 photos 629 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day; I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the way: The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear, fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear.” -Edgar Guest

I liked the theme and the thought presented in this piece. It was interesting that you refered to the firewood as 'trees'; I felt that sort of implied that the fire and sparks were comging from something rather grand. The rhymes feel a bit forced and "you hear a loud tick" didn't really make much sesnse to me. Perhaps you were refering to the popping and cracking of the fire..? The final line was over encumbered, and tossed off the flow when I was reading. Perhaps shortening it, or simplyfing the sentence could help. "everything beautiful always ends." Just a thought,
Over all, thoough, I would give it a 3/4. You did good :)  

on Nov. 30 2014 at 6:15 pm
Dononanavan BRONZE, Plymouth, Michigan
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot keep Spring from coming." -Pablo Neruda

This is powerful and vivid, I like it a lot. Only thing is, sometimes you try a bit too hard to make it rhyme. ("out" and "stout" is the main one.) That's just a problem with having rhymes on every line--my advice would be, try doing every other line.   Most of the rhymes are very good--and so is the whole poem.

on Nov. 30 2014 at 4:56 pm
sillywabbit BRONZE, Federal Way, Washington
2 articles 3 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Where there is love there is life.
Mahatma Gandhi

Love it very inspiring