What is it that I have become?
  I let a person get to me,
I let a person tear me to shreds,
Break my heart, poison my mind.

He told me he loved me,
And I guess it was my fault for believing him.

He told me I was the only one for him,
   I told him I didn't want to be another girl he'd just "drop"
He told me he wouldn't ever do that to me,
  That he wouldn't ever break up with me,
And that we would be together until college at least.

   He lied.

And once again it was my fault for believing him.

When your fifteen you'll believe anyone
When they tell you they love you,
  When they tell you the only reason they're still living,
Is because they have you.

But what happens when you grow attached to them?

What happens when you start to fall into a teenage romance or love?

What happens when you give yourself to him,
And give up something you said you were saving for someone special?

     I regret giving myself to him,
    I regret giving myself,
   My body,
  My emotions,
My feelings,
And my heart to him.

It's sad, you know, that I realized way to late
That he didn't actually care, he never did.

It felt so amazing to finally be wanted,
But it's now that I realized,
He only wanted me so he could distract himself,
So he could try to feel something,
And once he started feeling better,
And not sad, and dark,
He started becoming more mysterious,
But in a way predictable.  I knew that
He was going to leave me,  I saw it
Coming, but I refused to acknowledged it,
  I didn't want to believe it,
Even thought it hurt that he was my boyfriend,
And he would go days without speaking to me,
And once he did it was only to get in touch
With me so we could hook up,
  Than I'd leave,
And it'd be days before I'd hear from him again.

I didn't want to believe it even though I knew it was coming,
He went about two weeks without telling me he loved me,
Acting like I never even existed,

    I was invisible,

   I was nothing,

  I was just a stupid girl.

I was another one of those girls he said I would never be.

He said he loved me,
And I believed him,
  And because he destroyed my heart, he destroyed
My belief in being happily in love.

Because being almost sixteen, I am miserable because I swear,

   I am in love.
  With him.