my eyebrows are my rebellion against the shrinking tides lapping the broad shores of my hipbones

i don't see subservience when i see them

i see power, authority, no s***

once they were the plucked-thin lines

the crater between left and right meadow

saying empty

saying put yourself here because i am not enough

saying

i am not enough

the sharp sting of a tweezer, pulling out a hair by its root

unwanted

unbeautiful

there are so many ways i know i am wrong

i know the bulk of my form cannot be wanted

i know that i can't point my toes daintily inward because my thighs will protest

i will protest

i will not change my body for you

i stand as a rebellion

i fill in my eyebrows until frida kahlo would be proud

i sit with monkeys on my shoulders, cackling

my body is rebellion

i will take up space

i will sweat

i will stink

my muffin top will pour over the sides of my jeans

my arms will not say tank tops, will not say held

my arms will say hold

my arms will say raised fist, raised voice

my thighs will not whisper, they will thud

so that the earth shudders with each step i take

my chins will wobble when i sing

my eyes will stare out from below a statement of self

an unbroken line that dares you to look away

~

the stamina of power can only last so long

i cannot lie to myself

i want to look away

i want to break every camera lens that dares to see me

i want to melt into the gentle curves of a wanted woman

i want to be held

i am not strong enough for big eyebrows

i am not strong enough for raised fists

when i walk i do not want to make a sound

~

when i raise my voice i feel the stares

feel the judgement

feel the "you're wrong before a word passes your too-fat lips, before a thought forms in your too-fat brain, before the feeling starts in your too-fat heart"

you're wrong because your body is not your own, so how dare you defend it

how dare you let it rebel

how dare you fail to conform

small bodies, small voices

empty space

put yourself here

i am not enough