How do I- conform to conventional collegiate considerations, intrinsic interest to intelligence, unextpected expectations of exceptional expertise-

Where do I find refuge? How do you refuse-

to warm a heart frozen in isolation?

Mom won't answer the phone, dad hasn't been home- for ten years

a syndrome turned hate crime.

Will my best friend stop baking, will I stop shaking-

waking up to a nightmare in sunshine, won't lie that the shadow on the wall is my design of peace.

Long nails trail these maggots beneath my skull. Pick, pick, pick, tick, tick, tick- when will these meds shed this head that isn't mine, one time-

one time, I met a woman,

she seemed like a wonderful human,

but a reflection is so surreal. Feel-

something other than fear, no embrace it here, but so clear I see a queer little child.

Sometime punched aren't thrown with fists, but from stranger's silent stares.

Riddle me this- if a girl falls in the forest, will she take root in her remains?

Do you follow your gut if you're just a puppet to the angst fluttering you gently off the ledge?

Is it really just in my head, if I take this bed and dread-

and in the mourning you'll find me dead.